Welcome to Shalampax Speaks
Welcome to the inaugural post in Shalampax Speaks, the official blog of the Republic of Shalampax.
Why, you might ask, is there only one blog for all of Shalampax, a country of 4,242 people? Why doesn’t everyone write his or her own blog? If you can ask those questions then either you know absolutely nothing about Shalampax or you are a complete idiot.
If you know absolutely nothing about Shalampax you can learn more at the official Shalampax Web site. Among other interesting facts, you’ll learn that Shalampaxians are incredibly lazy. In fact, we’re probably the laziest people on earth, with the exception of a few civil servants. They have even us beat when it comes to indolence. Nonetheless, we’ll be lucky to get one good blog going among all of us. More than one is not going to happen. No how. No way.
If you are a complete idiot, you should consider joining one or more of our cults religions. They might be able to help you with that idiocy thing. Or not. What have you got to lose? The most it will cost you are some tithes or, depending on the cult religion, maybe a little, or a lot, more than tithes. In any case, you’ll probably survive the experience intact. Your wallet, on the other hand, is another matter.
If you’ve been longing to hear more about the lives of Shalampaxians and the daily doings in Shalampax, you’re a bigger fool than we thought possible. But we’re not above catering to fools, so we’ve created this blog to satisfy your preposterous curiosity. Or not.
We will try to post here daily and sometimes multiple times a day. Knowing the slothful nature of Shalampaxians, achieving that goal will likely require whipping the authors. Fortunately, because Shalampax is an enlightened country, whipping writers is neither a crime nor misdemeanor here. On the contrary, it’s encouraged.
Enjoy! Or not.
