Openfly Caught Picking
Peeps, you will not believe this! Openfly, the closest anyone in Shalampax comes to being a celebrity, was caught yesterday picking her nose.
That’s right, picking her nose! She was seen with the forefinger of her right hand tunneling deep inside her right nostril. She wiggled her digit around for a full minute or two, trying to dig something out. My source tells me that she eventually pulled out the biggest booger my source has ever seen.
When confronted with allegations of the incident, Openfly reluctantly admitted that it had occurred. “I’m so embarrassed,” she whimpered, tears streaming from her eyes. “Believe me, I have never sunk so low before and it is not something that I will ever repeat.”
Openfly went on to say, “I normally have a personal assistant who picks my nose for me, but he was off sick that day. What happened was, I was walking in one of the corridors of Shalampax’s building when I sensed that an enormous booger was blocking my nasal passage. I looked around for my assistant for a few seconds before I remembered that he was off. Not being able to bear it any longer, I resorted to picking my own nose. It’s so demeaning. I have no words.”
So as to not disappoint her fans again in the future, Openfly is in the process of hiring three backup assistants to ensure that she will always have at least one nose-picker at her beck and call at all times.
I usually picked my nose when someone’s conversation was dead boring, and I was afraid to yawn because that would be just too rude. So, as soon as I started picking my nose, it normally ended the conversation abruptly.
@Carl: I’m told that in the outside world (out of Shalampax) nose-picking is generally known to end dates rather quickly as well. Interestingly, in Shalampax it’s usually a turn-on.