Shalampax Speaks

Many people roam through their lives mired in the material world. This is, of course, a fabulously positive attitude, but it is insufficient for many of us. It is important to let spirituality into your life because without spirituality we look foolish and hypocritical when we ask for time off to observe religious holidays.

Almost as important, the great religions of the world can teach us much about how to be better human beings. Consider, for example, what we can learn from Dafernyx, the deity who is worshiped by Dafernyxists.

The most significant lesson that Dafernyx teaches us is that petulance is divine. Without a doubt, Dafernyx’s reaction to receiving a failing grade for his creation of a species—humans—that could not pronounce the name of the home planet of the species’ creator was petulant. Nonetheless, Dafernyx is a deity, thus adopting His mannerisms, including petulance, is holy.

Let’s examine this more closely to see if there are other lessons we can learn. Giving a failing grade for such a trifling mistake as creating inadequate vocal cords was petty, but that does not excuse Dafernyx’s breaking of Ynerxtrzu’s law against fraternizing with species you’ve created. And what does this teach us? Clearly, the moral that Dafernyx means for us to take from this is that it is acceptable to break a law if feel you’ve been affronted.

And what are we to make of Dafernyx’s seventh commandment, Thou shalt not worship raven ménages?

Plainly, this is Dafernyx’s way of telling us that mirth is godly. After all, how else can this commandment be taken other than in jest?

Some ecclesiastic Dafernyxians dispute this interpretation of the seventh commandment. They contend that it can only mean that, rather than being pitied, coddled or treated, insanity should be revered because the seventh commandment must be the work of a madman. Yet, because it was written by a Dafernyx, who is unquestionable a god, insanity must be divine.

If I’ve sparked your interest in Dafernyxism and you are seeking a more spiritual life, personalized Dafernyxian dictums are available from the clergy of the Church of Dafernyx for only $49.95 each. In addition, an extensive, five-DVD, computer-based course on Dafernyxism is available for $1,295.99. The course runs on both Windows and Mac OS X.

If you are interested, please send your credit card information directly to the Church of Dafernyx or leave it in a comment on this post.

Sprituality ecclesiastic, gods, petulance, spiritual, spirituality, teachings