Spiderintree Wanted Globally
According to a recently issued Interpol bulletin that was obtained by an anonymous Shalampaxian source who hacked into Interpol’s computers, Spiderintree, one of Shalampax’s leading spam and telemarketing practitioners, is wanted in 64 countries in connection with fraud and/or embezzlement charges. The charges stem from Spiderintree’s many investment businesses, which police forces around the world claim are nothing more than Ponzi schemes.
Congratulations Spiderintree! That brings you close to the Shalampaxian global indictment record, currently held by Snakeingrass. With warrants issued in 68 countries, Snakeingrass is now only four countries ahead of Spiderintree.
Meanwhile, Spiderintree vociferously denies the charges. “I am not running any Ponzi schemes whatsoever,” he said. “A Ponzi scheme is a scam that usually does not invest at all, but rather pays out early investors with the money put into the scheme by later investors. I, on the other hand, have not paid a cent to any of the people who have ‘invested’ their money with me. And I fully intend to never to so.”
Fun is fun, but Shalampax’s authorities take the global charges against Spiderintree very seriously. The prime minister has vehemently declared that this outrage cannot be allowed to continue.
The prime minister’s attitude is understandable.
The prime minister and his cabinet, along with most Shalampaxian justice officials, have placed large bets against Spiderintree overtaking Snakeingrass before the end of next month.
To take a clear lead, Spiderintree requires charges in only five countries. Even worse in the eyes of the officials who have bet against Spiderintree, the pace of his new indictments has been accelerating, while Snakeingrass’ indictment count has stalled.
The senior officials who have put their money on Snakeingrass worry that she is not working hard enough to protect her lead. The officials who have wagered the most have offered to provide Snakeingrass with additional spam and telemarketing lists targeting marks in countries that haven’t yet indicted her.
