Magic Show
Last night, Crumpledpaper performed his long-awaited magic show for a large, enthusiastic Shalampax audience. Joining him on stage was his assistant, Driedpalmleaf, who also happens to be his wife.
Crumpledpaper ran through the usual panoply of conjurers’ tricks. He pulled rabbits and flowers out of hats, levitated his assistant, made coins disappear and reappear, and joined and separated seemingly seamless metal rings.
The audience showed mild appreciation throughout most of Crumpledpaper’s act, but they went wild, showering him with boisterous applause, on the successful completion of his grand finale. For the climax of his show, Crumpledpaper chose to perform the classic magician’s trick of creating the illusion of sawing his assistant in half.
This trick has baffled even the cleverest and most perceptive of audiences around the world. Thus, seeing as though Shalampaxians are not known for attentiveness, perceptiveness or cleverness, it is not surprising that no one in the audience last night could figure out how Crumpledpaper had done it.
Thoroughly stupefied, the audience filed out of the theater in great awe of and respect for Crumpledpaper’s immense talent.
In keeping with Shalampax’s traditions, burial at sea services for Driedpalmleaf will be held on Thursday and Friday.
“I’ve seen magicians do that trick hundreds of times on television,” said Crumpledpaper. “A woman climbs in a box. Her head sticks out of one end and her feet stick out of the other end. The magician then proceeds to saw the box in half. Finally, after a lot of hand waving, incantations and draping of curtains in front of the box, the woman walks out whole. Why it worked for them and not for me will likely remain a mystery forever.”
Authorities have decided not to charge Crumpledpaper with a criminal offense because no one liked Deadpalmleaf anyway.
