Anyone There?
Is anyone out there? Our blog statistics tell us that a number of people are visiting Shalampax Speaks, but the statistics can’t tell us if you’re actually bothering to read our wonderful words.
Only a few of you have commented our posts. (You know who you are. Thanks!) As a result, we have no idea if the rest of you are enjoying, or even reading, what we’ve written here.
As a rule, Shalampaxians are among the most lazy people in the world. The authors at Shalampax Speaks are not exceptions to that rule. It takes a lot of hard work (any work is hard work to a Shalampaxian) to turn out our powerful prose. If nobody appreciates it, we might be able to talk the people who are forcing us to write this blog into letting us stop.
So, here’s what I’m asking of you:
- If you like this blog and want us to continue doing what we are doing, please add a comment to this post to let us know.
- If you don’t like it and think we should stop writing it, or you don’t give a damn whether we stop writing it or not, please add a comment to this post to let us know.
- If you don’t like it now, but you would like it if we used this blog to give you information about Shalampax and/or Shalampaxians that we aren’t currently providing, please add a comment to this post letting us know what you want to know and in what style you’d like us to provide that information to you.
- If you like Shalampax Speaks, but think there’s a way we can make it even better, please add a comment to let us know how we can improve it.
In short, please add a comment to this post and give us your thoughts, whatever they may be, about Shalampax Speaks.
One exception to the above request: If you would like us to use this blog to distribute pictures of naked Shalampaxians, please keep that information to yourself. You are obviously an extremely sick individual. Either that or you don’t have the slightest idea of what Shalampaxians look like naked. Trust me; it’s not a pretty picture.
Of course, if no one is reading this, then, never mind.
Sorry, I know from nothing about entree cards and exchanging such things with strangers. I only do safe sex.
@Augusto: I’m glad to hear you’re lurking and enjoying. Thanks for your suggestion. The authors here have, from time to time, quoted some of our luminaries, but we’ve never done in-depth interviews with them. It’s an excellent idea. The only thing that might make it difficult is that it’s very difficult to awake our newsmakers, leaders and elite from their interminable naps long enough to conduct even a short interview, but we’ll see what we can do. Thanks!
@David I suspect that you’re a much happier person for knowing nothing about entree cards. And I KNOW that you’re a much happier person for doing safe sex.
The nap that I take while dropping Entrecards is the only real rest that I get, and I now you want to disturb it. By the way, I am not really sure what a Shalampaxian looks like naked, and I’m not sure if I want to find out, but for a morbidly obese older guy, I AM HOT!!!
Keep it the way it is. I am still waiting for the immigration form from your INS.
@Carl: OK, for you we’ll keep it the way it is.
Re the immigration form from our INS: Did you send in the appropriate fee with your request? You did know there’s a fee, didn’t you? We require the payment of a non-refundable fee before we’ll send out the form. It’s only $1 million (U.S.), but we require a certified check. We’ll also accept a certified cheque if you’re in a country that spells it that way, but it still must be in U.S. funds.
I know; I know; a million’s a tad high. What can I say? We’re a tad xenophobic. And we like money.
@FishHawk: Please don’t nap when you come to our blog. (As you apparently didn’t this time.) The rest? The hell with them.
Trust me. No Shalampaxian has ever been referred to as hot, other than possibly in the context of “hellish”.
I come by every day and read. It is nice to read about somewhere that is more than likely suckier than here.
@Dogmaw: Thanks for making your presence known. Yes, there are few places suckier than Shalampax. I’m glad that we can make your hometown seem better by contrasting it with Shalampax … although, that doesn’t make us feel any better.
I just discovered your blog through EC today.
After clicking through to the official Shalampax site, your blog makes a lot more sense. I find it all rather amusing.
Keep writing…I’ll come back. I added it to my EC favorites just to make sure.
@app103: What?! Shalampaxians make sense? I’m going to have to go read the official site. I usually don’t understand any of us, not even myself.
Good to have you along for the ride. I hope you continue to find us amusing.