Health Advisory #883
The Shalampax Medical Clinic asked me to pass along the following health advisory:
Anyone who visited Shalampax’s Most Expensive Restaurant (its name and an accurate description) last night and inferred from the menu listing “Catch of the Day” that they were eating fish, and fresh fish at that, should visit the medical clinic as soon as possible.
The Chief Medical Officer (CMO) at the clinic suggests that there is no cause for alarm because alarm won’t help. She does, however recommend that you get your affairs in order before visiting the emergency room.
I tried to convince the CMO to tell me more about the situation, but she wouldn’t budge. Her refusal to budge probably had something to do with her movement being severely limited due to her acute obesity and it is not at all relevant to this conversation. The point is that she wouldn’t release any further details. Instead, she mumbled something about not wanting to cause a widespread panic.
In a related note, Rottentomato, owner of Shalampax’s Most Expensive Restaurant, has announced a new promotion. Any of his recent customers who stop by the restaurant and sign a liability waiver will receive a free gift certificate. The certificate can be exchanged for an appetizer of the customer’s choice, provided that he or she also buys a full-price main course at the same time.
Rottentomato adds that the gift certificates have no expiry date, but they are not transferable. Only customers who ate at the restaurant last night are eligible to use the certificates, and only at a future date.
