Well peeps, the ongoing tale of Openfly continues. And it just keeps getting weirder.
I mentioned last time that I emailed Dr. Donald Rivers (Don), the zoologist who is holding Openfly captive on a research ship. In my first email to him I asked him why he locked her up. Since then, we’ve exchanged a number of emails.
The email stream is much too long to paste in its entirety here. Instead, the following is a synopsis of our exchange: Read more…
The Shalampax School Board released a terse statement yesterday stating that it had terminated the employment of one of its teachers for having had sex with one of her students. The school board refused to disclose the teacher’s name because of possible legal ramifications and because it did not want the teacher’s voice mail to be overwhelmed with pleading calls from horny men.
The student, whose name was also withheld for privacy reasons, was a 17-year-old, grade-eight pupil. He was one of the youngest in his class of 27 students.
Read more…
A few days ago I told you about a health advisory from the Shalampax Medical Clinic advising people who ate the “fish” at Shalampax’s Most Expensive Restaurant to visit the clinic as soon as possible. I’m pleased to report that the condition that Tuboflard mistook for death was actually a coma.
If you saw the raw text of the press release that the medical clinic recently issued to correct its earlier diagnosis, please note that there was a typographical error in it. As I’ve just reported, patients were in a coma. They were not, as the clinic’s press release said, in a comma. You can put your mind at ease. Your loved ones’ lives were not punctuated.
Read more…
In an earlier post I inadvertently revealed that the Chief Medical Officer (CMO) at the Shalampax Medical Clinic is a tad obese. That’s a tad obese as in, able to block out the sun’s light when standing 30 paces from the viewer.
She is so fat that she has to grease her sides to squeeze through a standard size door. Even then, she requires the help of a several people to push her through.
Read more…
Hey peeps, I have more news in what seems to be shaping up to be a continuing saga of Openfly’s flight from Shalamapax.
You’ll recall that in my last post I told you that Openfly refused to communicate with any Shalampaxian other than her best friend, Cherrytart. That was true. However, I found out that Openfly has been able to use her own email account while aboard the ship.
I sent her a message begging her to speak with me about her ordeal. At first she refused, but I successfully bribed her to change her mind. I told her that if she ever comes back to Shalampax I will pick up her bar tab for a full week if she took me into her confidence.
Read more…
The Authors page of this blog talks about my spirituality, so I guess I should spend more time pontificating on that preposterous blather here. It occurs to me that one searing question that bears answering is, “What is spirituality?”
Why anyone would want to waste his or her time worrying about such absurd nonsense is beyond me. Spirituality is primarily just an occupation for me. Nonetheless, since I’ve got nothing better to do at the moment, I’ll take a stab at sating your ridiculous curiosity.
Read more…
