Marie Day
Prime Minister Manexposinghimself has issued an official proclamation declaring tomorrow to be Marie Day in Shalampax. Marie Day commemorates Marie, the nymphomaniac who, in 1952, washed up on our shores barely alive, was nursed back to health, put smiles on a lot of guys faces, taught us English, put smiles on a lot of guys faces, taught us about the link between sex and making babies, put smiles on a lot of guys faces, had a number of terminated pregnancies, put smiles on a lot of guys faces, attempted with little success to “civilize” Shalampaxians, put smiles on a lot of guys faces, and then left after no small encouragement from us when she became somewhat annoying by constantly correcting our grammar.
Marie Day does not celebrate any particular day in Marie’s life or the day on which any one of her activities in Shalampax occurred. In fact, the choice of the day couldn’t be anything but arbitrary as we didn’t use calendars back in 1952, Marie never told us her birthday, and we never asked.
