If you really are Shalampaxian, would you be interested in moving here? If so, do you have any pictures of yourself you’d be willing to send me? We have a very limited supply of apartments in Shalampax, but, because the women here aren’t known for their great beauty, if you’re the least bit attractive a nice picture could go a long way to convincing one of the guys to share his apartment with you. Take me, for example. If you’d like to send along any pictures you can send them to Stickinthemud@shalampax.com. Don’t worry if they are intimate pictures. I won’t show them to too many of the guys.

I’m sure I could rustle up some black licorish for you.

I lyke black licorish.

By the way, as I said in my post, there’s only red licorice available. Oh right, your reading skills aren’t quite up to snuff. Allow me to repeat, theirs oanly read licorish avvailiable.

@nipsy: I’ll let our government know you love it. To get your licorice you have to come to Shalampax. You might want to consider buying your own licorice. I don’t know how familiar you are with Shalampax, but our xenophobia extends to eating any foreigners who manage to make it to our island. And when I say “eat foreigners,” I don’t mean that in a good way.

I’m guessing that the greatest efforts to promote literacy there is closed captioning on television.