Male Enhancement Celebrity Endorsement
Four of Shalampax’s spam companies have begun to invoke the name of Joel Klebanoff as a “celebrity” endorsement for their male enhancement products. They are doing so because, as of June 18, 2009, Google listed him as number one for “world’s thickest penis” and number five for “world’s longest penis”.
Klebanoff was not available for comment because I couldn’t be bothered to try to get in touch with him. In addition, I’ve been told that he’s a total jerk and nobody in his or her right mind would want to converse with him. What’s more, considering his claim to fame, he’s almost certainly too busy jerking off to take time to talk to me.
Besides, we contracted Klebanoff to set up Shalampax Speaks for us. Being Shalampaxians, of course we never paid his bill and have no intention of ever doing so. Obviously, I don’t want talk to him.
As is the strict policy of all Shalampax spam companies, Klebanoff’s permission for these endorsements was not sought. Nor will any compensation be paid to him.
His “registration” with certain government agencies (resulting from his outstanding sexual prowess and dogged pursuit of sexual adventures) no doubt adds to his prestige and mystique as a celebrity endorser thus making his endorsement worth every penny the companies paid.
An excellent choice, however, if I may make a suggestion – avoid terms like deviant and preditor when referencing his use of the products.
@David: Yes, but anybody who would be willing to do work for us without insisting on being paid up-front is a real idiot. Not that there is anything wrong with being a real idiot, as anyone in Shalampax will tell you. The only question is, will using a complete dunderhead as a “celebrity” endorsement end up hurting their marketing campaigns?
I’ll pass along your advice to avoid terms like deviant and predator. I’m sure our spam companies will welcome any suggestions that will help to increase profits. And they have no moral problems with lying in order to achieve those higher profits.
Er…..ummmmm…..too much information.
***MMM blushes***
@Screaming Me-Me: Don’t blame me. Klebanoff’ is the one who managed to get himself listed so highly on Google for those search terms. (By the way you need the quotes around the terms for them to show up first and fifth.) Our spam companies are simply taking advantage of that fact. To do my job as business reporter here at Shalampax Speaks, I have to report on the activities of our spam companies. Sorry for making you blush.
@Screaming Me-Me: By the way, are you telling me this is too much information for the woman who hands out a ……Er…..ummmmm….. “Golden Phallus” award on her Web site?