Comments on: Tuboflard Loses 50 Pounds

By: Stoneupnose

Stoneupnose — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 17:43:29 +0000

@Screaming Me-Me: It’s doubtful that it will happen, but if you ever find yourself in the presence of Tuboflard, I recommend that you leave the Twinkies behind or be prepared to surrender them readily. You won’t survive the experience otherwise.

By the way, me and the other guys here in Shalampax have seen the latest picture of you that you’ve put up on your blog. You’ve become extremely popular here … you crazy beatnik, you.

By: Screaming Me-Me

Screaming Me-Me — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 17:25:01 +0000

Well, unlike David, the title fooled me. I was reading with great interest to learn of Tuboflard’s weight loss secret because I am tiring of the Wii Fit routine I have established. I work out for an hour and a half then, usually, I cool down with a box of Twinkies and a Diet Coke. I’m just not seeing the results I wanted.

By: Stoneupnose

Stoneupnose — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 15:26:38 +0000

@David: Yes, so, what's your point? Are diamonds valuable where you live? They're not here. We find them lying around all over the place here, particularly where Tuboflard has passed.

By: David

David — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 15:17:32 +0000

If Tuboflard can depress stone then she should wield enough pressure to convert lumps of coal into diamonds.

By: Stoneupnose

Stoneupnose — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 13:43:08 +0000

@David: Tuboflard estimates her weight by how much of a depression she makes in our stone floors when she walks across them. I hadn't thought of the possibility that Openfly stole the £50 as spending money for her little excursion. Although I think Tuboflard still had it after Openfly left. I'll have to check up on that.

By: David

David — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 13:30:24 +0000

That title didn’t fool me – not even one little bit. There are no scales in Shalampax that could determine Tuboflard’s weight and I’m sure of this since it would take truck scales but, with no roads, there are no trucks and thus no need for truck scales. Besides, 50 pounds of ass-lard from her would be like a toothpick in the wind.

I would be suspicious that Openfly took that 50 pounds when she left the island – it always helps to have some cash in hand when going to strange new places.