Paper In; Underwear Not
This notice is for Shalampaxians only. The rest of you can feel free to stop reading and make something of your lives instead.
I have good news and I have bad news. We finally got a long enough break in the weather to unload the supply ship that has been waiting at sea for more than a month.
The good news is that this means that we’ve been able to replenish our depleted toilet paper inventory. That’s very timely as we had almost run out of the copies of the Shalampax Criminal Code that we’ve been using as a substitute for toilet paper.
The bad news is that the Shalampax Clothing Store had placed a large order for underwear because it is now out-of-stock of that item. Unfortunately, the order got screwed up and, instead of normal underwear, the distributor sent adult diapers.
This could be critical as most of us in Shalampax don’t buy new underwear until our old pairs are worn down to their last few threads. If you were getting ready to invest in some new underwear you’re going to be out of luck. It will probably take a few months to get a new supply in, and that’s only if the weather breaks when the supply ship arrives. Otherwise, you’ll have to add as much as a few months to that estimate.
If you’re one of those people whose underwear is about to turn to dust, you have two options as far as I can see. One option is to not wear underwear at all. This is considered to be sexy, but it’s not likely to make up for an inherent total lack of sex appeal, which is an affliction that is the bane of most Shalampaxians’ existences.
The other option is to stock up on adult diapers and use them instead.
I wouldn’t be too quick to write off this option if I were you. It has definite advantages. For example, say you’re watching your favorite TV program and you feel a sudden need to take a crap or pee. No problem. You’re wearing diapers. Watch and go without ever leaving your couch.
Hell, if you crap, you don’t even need to stop eating pork rinds to wipe your ass afterward. Just change your diaper when the program ends.
Enjoy!
