I do feel the need to remind you of the danger you are taking by attending the party. Due to Shalampaxians’ extreme xenophobia, outsiders who come to parties in Shalampax tend to end up being, not eating the snacks.

Talk about saving the shipping and handling charges, I understand that Bloodynose is planning to personally apply the breast firming lotions for any women who buy it at the parties. From the talk I hear in the hallways, I understand that he’s also eager to apply the penis enlargement lotions for male buyers as well.

Such a deal that Bloodynose is selling those items at the reception since it saves all those pesky shipping and handling charges. I really don’t want any strangers handling my penis and breast enlarging devices and potions – especially if I have to pay them to do it.

As to the complaints from vegans and others, we have a quaint, yet exceptionally wise old saying here in Shalampax that goes something to the effect of, “Fuck ‘em if they can’t take a joke.”