Shalampax Speaks

I’ve been doing quite a bit of surfing around the Web lately. Much of my Internet activity has involved checking out a lot of other blogs because that’s a good excuse to not do anything useful. Shalampaxians never need a specific excuse to not do anything useful, but I like to pretend I’m busy so no one will even think to ask me to do any more work around here.

In my Web surfing expeditions, it has come to my attention that a number of people use their blogs to reveal personal information—the trials and tribulations of their lives, their surefire health tips, their diseases, their fine mental fettle, their psychoses, their relationships, their lack of relationships, their jobs, their lack of jobs, their loves, their hates … whatever.

Strange though seems it is to me, and possibly to you, there appears to be a market for that sort of bullshit. And if we are about anything here at Shalampax Speaks, we’re about bringing traffic to our blog and making money.

OK, so here goes.

I’m the old fart of the bloggers here at Shalampax Speaks. I was born sometime in 1952 or possibly 1953. My best guess and the best guess of my parents is that I came into this world near then end of 1952; maybe November or December. However, because Shalampax adopted a calendar only with Marie’s arrival in 1952 and because most people here—my parents included—didn’t bother keeping track of dates until well after that, I can’t be certain of my exact date of birth.

I’ve done nothing of any consequence in my life. I was a middling student at school, which is pretty poor considering the academic competition or, rather, lack of academic competition here.

I have no hobbies or interests. I vacuously watch a lot of television and movies, but I don’t have any favorites.

I like to take long walks on beaches and in parks. At least, I think I’d like to take long walks on beaches and in parks, but, because we have no beaches or parks here and because it’s almost impossible for a Shalampaxian to leave Shalampax, I can’t be sure.

I’m not particularly into music of any genre.

I’ve been in and out or four or five marriages. I can’t remember the exact number, nor do I remember my wives’ names or what they look like.

I think I’m married now, but I’m not entirely certain. I have trouble keeping track of those sorts of details.

There’s a woman living with me and sharing my bed, but she may just have nowhere else to go. That kind of thing happens a lot in Shalampax. I’ve never bothered to ask her name or whether she thinks she’s my wife.

Well, that about sums up my life so far.

Is that enough personal crap for you? Yes? Good. Tell your friends to visit this blog post and read all about me.