Education Study Commissioned
Recognizing the abysmal academic achievement (or, more to the point, deficiency) levels in Shalampax, the Shalampax School Board has commissioned an in-depth study of our school system. This comprehensive investigation will be conducted by a task force composed of some rare scholastic successes among the elite of Shalampax’s academia, such as it is.
No bounds have been placed on the remit of the task force. It will be expected to evaluate teaching methods, early childhood education, textbooks, school hours, curricula, extra curricular activity, discipline within schools and anything else that the task force members deem to be relevant.
The study is expected to take three or four years to complete. The first year, or possibly two years, will be dedicated exclusively to providing remedial reading and writing tutoring to the task force members so they will have at least a minuscule hope in hell of completing their research. This tutoring will be conducted over the Web as there are no qualified tutors in Shalampax.
The final report is not expected to contain words of more than two syllables—and few of them are likely to be spelled correctly. The report will be made available to all Shalampaxians via a single message provided through Twitter.
