Shalampax Speaks

Celebrate National Mime Day!

The Government of Shalampax has passed a proclamation naming today National Mime Day.

Shalampax’s National Mime Day is a statutory holiday that honors and celebrates the effort and commitment that mimes around the word and over the years have put into learning and perfecting their craft and then employing their art for the sake of our entertainment and amusement.

Sadly, audience adulation often eludes even the most talented of mimes. Worse, hoodlums sometimes steal the contributions dropped into the hats of busking mimes. Mime buskers are frequently unable to find their way out of the invisible boxes in which they have been cruelly placed in time to rescue their meager earnings.

While most Shalampaxians are far too lazy to perform as mimes themselves, the government still felt that the mimes of the world deserve to be honored.

Coincidentally, Prime Minister Manexposinghimself had a personal attachment to mimes. Or, rather, to one person whom he suspected of being a mime.

Manexposinghimself relates that, “She never admitted it outright, and she never, to my knowledge, performed in public, but I think that my second wife was secretly a mime. For the couple of years that we were married she only went through the motions, particularly during sex.”

Manexposinghimself suggests that a fitting tribute to mimes would be for all of the loudmouthed, loathsome jerks in Shalampax—which includes pretty much the entire population—to shut the hell up for the day.