Finding Your Bliss
Have you found your bliss? Some people spend their lives fruitlessly searching for their bliss. Others come to it intuitively.
Those who have found their bliss are, to state the obvious, blissful. Those who have not found their bliss are, to again state the obvious, not blissful.
Bliss—true bliss, spiritual bliss—can be achieved only by being at one with yourself, merging your body, mind and spirit into a single, glorious entity; at one with your environment, integrating your molecules and life force with the molecules and energies of everything around you; at one with your loved ones, pairing your soul with theirs; at one with the planet and all that is on it, projecting your joyous life force well beyond your immediate boundaries; and at one with the universe, accepting and rejoicing in the fact that you are an integral part of an infinite whole—or possibly a finite, but really, really gigantic whole; that stuff baffles me.
Finding bliss is difficult. Whether you are conscious of the effort or not, it takes a lot of hard work.
If you have not yet found your bliss, you’re in luck. The Cherist Church is having a sale on bliss this week. Hurry, because for the next seven days—and only the next seven days—you can buy one bliss for $199.95 or two for $350.
You can also sign up for the church’s lifetime bliss subscription plan at just $39.95 per month. (Your first and last month of bliss must be paid in full, in advance.)
Note: The bliss sold by the Cherist Church is 100 percent guaranteed to be blissful. Thus, if it doesn’t work for you, it must be your fault, not the fault of the bliss or the suppliers of the bliss. Consequently, all charges are non-refundable.
Thanks for the offer, but I prefer the ‘grace’ variety of bliss. Already paid for and completely free.
@Rob: Yes, but is it guaranteed?
Will it work on chancres?
I got burned on defective bliss from Cheristian Separatists in the past.
@Doctor Faustroll: It is absolutely, positively guaranteed to work on anything, including your venereal disease, unless, of course, you did something to cause it to not work, in which case it is definitely your fault and the Cherists cannot be held responsible. Therefore, if it doesn’t work it will definitely have been your fault and not the Cherists’ fault.
I am verklempt.
I had come to believe that Shalampaxians were living in utter bliss – couch potatoes, copious alcohol to drink, unlimited TV entertainments, guilt-free endless sexual exploits. I’ve modeled my life to try to be as blissful as my Shalampaxian gods.
Now what is to become of me? I’m crushed. I’m just going to spend some private time in my den pondering drunken debauchery.
@David: Of course we are totally blissful. In fact, it is our surfeit of bliss that allows the Cherists to sell some of our excess bliss at the low, low price of $199.95 or two for $350. Had there been a dearth of bliss here in Shalampax the price would have been much higher.