Schizophrenia-Free
The other day, I realized something that is quite profound, if profound is the word I’m looking for. It’s either profound or trifling. I always mix up those two words.
What I came to realize is that, of all the 4,242 people in Shalampax, there is not one single person here who suffers from schizophrenia. And there are no married people suffering from schizophrenia either. Nor are there any people just shacking up together who are schizophrenic. Not one.
This is very surprising as our nation abounds in cases of pretty well every other mental illness.
There are no psychiatrists or psychologists here in Shalampax. There are five lunatics who swear they are reincarnations of Sigmund Freud (and often they just swear). However, no more than 35 percent of the population believes that these people can even spell Freud, let alone understand Freud’s theories, or any other mental health theories for that matter, so they don’t count.
As a result of our lack of mental health professionals, there has been no clinical validation of my assertion of a lack of schizophrenia in Shalampax.
Nonetheless, I’m absolutely, 100 percent certain that we schizophrenia-free because that fact has been confirmed by a very authoritative voice in my head. And only a few wimpy voices in my head have offered what can, in all generosity, be described as, at best, very weak contrary evidence.
I wish the voices in my head could reach a consensus like yours have. It is just maddening sometimes.
@David: I’m with you. (Well, not literally. I’d probably be arrested in your country. And you’d probably be eaten here.) But, like I said, there were some minor dissenting voices. And this is the highest level of consensus my voices usually reach.
I guess when I come to visit, I should leave myself at home.
@Doctor Faustroll: Yes, but feel free to bring an imaginary best friend. Oh, by the way, do you know about the cannibalizing of foreigners thing we have going here?
@Dr Faustroll….hehehe…lol…. roflol i.e. very good line
@Birdinhand
How does one cannibalize a foreigner? I thought that was considered fast food.
@Doctor Faustroll: We’re proponents of the slow food movement. Actually, we do everything slowly, speed consumes too much energy.