Prime Ministerial Skills
I’ve never admitted this before. Hell, I never knew it before, but Manexposinghimself, our prime minister, must be the best prime minister in the world, ever.
What am I talking about? Let me tell you.
The other day I visited some friends in their apartment. When I got home, I reached into my pocket, as is my habit, to play a little pocket pool before I whipped out my wallet. This—taking out my wallet, not playing pocket pool, but that too—is a regular evening activity for me because it—my wallet, not anything else I was playing with in my pocket—normally rests on my dresser when it’s not in my trousers.
My wallet was still in the pocket I remembered putting it in, but it felt much lighter than usual. I checked inside and, sure enough, I discovered that all of my money was gone.
I called a few friends. They had exactly the same experience.
Then I heard that Manexposinghimself had just completed a round of tax collecting. There you have it. That’s the explanation.
For those of you not familiar with tax collection in Shalampax, it involves a government Funds Facilitator walking up and down the halls, picking people’s pockets. The Funds Facilitator continues until he or she manages to collect enough money to meet the government’s current financial requirements.
In this case, the prime minister acted as the Funds Facilitator. Presumably, Manexposinghimself doesn’t want to risk letting his underlings in on the project that is to be funded by this round of taxes.
Neither I nor the people I talked to recall seeing Manexposinghimself or any other government agent during the time that taxes were collected. Nonetheless, we obviously had our pockets picked by a virtuoso.
In how many other countries can people pay their taxes without even knowing it at the time? I’ll bet the answer is, none. This is a fantastic Shalampax innovation.
There is one disconcerting note. I spoke to some women who unwittingly had money extracted from their purses during this tax collection exercise. That’s not the disconcerting part. When they got undressed to go to bed that night they found that their bras and panties had also been removed without their knowing it.
I never knew that Manexposinghimself had a women’s underwear fetish. What are we to make of this?
Many women hide money in their bra – there is even a device for this called the Bosom Buddy that is pinned to the garment. I only know this because some elderly aunts would never leave home with theirs.
As for the panties, I’m not sure but perhaps Manexposinghimself was confused by the term “Shake your moneymaker” and assumed there was monetary value to be had in said panties.
@DavidAh, that explains it. It was simply a case of going where the money is on one hand and confusion on the other hand. Thanks for explaining what his two hands were up to. That’s a relief.
My wallet’s empty too! And I had all my money in it to invest in the SEX. I was looking forward to getting paper shares. They’re like bank notes but you never know what they’re worth!
At least tax compliance is simple. And unlike the other governments I get all the satisfaction of holding the money for a while.
@Steve: You’re wallet’s empty? Wow, I didn’t realized that Manexposinghimself’s reach could exceed the confines of our island. That truly is amazing.
Oh well, start saving your money again to invest in the SEX.