Rottentomato’s restaurant, Shalampax’s Most Expensive Restaurant, has always been appropriately named—until now. But it looks like he is going to have to either change the name or live with a lie. Considering how comfortable Shalampaxians, and Rottentomato in particular, are with deceit, I think I know which one he will choose.
Rottentomato has lost his “most costly” crown to Barfontable and Shitonfloor, a husband and wife team who have opened Shalampax’s Most Exclusive Restaurant, which is both the name of their restaurant and an accurate description.
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I’ve never admitted this before. Hell, I never knew it before, but Manexposinghimself, our prime minister, must be the best prime minister in the world, ever.
What am I talking about? Let me tell you.
The other day I visited some friends in their apartment. When I got home, I reached into my pocket, as is my habit, to play a little pocket pool before I whipped out my wallet. This—taking out my wallet, not playing pocket pool, but that too—is a regular evening activity for me because it—my wallet, not anything else I was playing with in my pocket—normally rests on my dresser when it’s not in my trousers.
My wallet was still in the pocket I remembered putting it in, but it felt much lighter than usual. I checked inside and, sure enough, I discovered that all of my money was gone.
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Currently, the law strictly limits ownership in Shalampaxian companies to Shalampaxian residents. That is about to change.
The Shalampax Securities & Scams Commission (SSSC) has announced that it is getting ready to launch a new stock exchange, the Shalampax Equities eXchange (SEX), that will be open to investors from outside Shalampax.
Online trading will be the order of the day on the SEX. In fact, because no outside brokers are expected to handle SEX-traded stocks, shares sold on the SEX will likely be available only through online systems operated by Shalampax-based firms.
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Originally scheduled for this evening in room 3C at 8:30 sharp, or whenever members got there, the inaugural meeting of the Shalampax Procrastinators’ Club has been postponed until two weeks from next Tuesday. The room and time will be the same, subject to the same “whenever members get there” proviso on the starting time.
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According to our blog statistics, this is post number 142 here at Shalampax Speaks. Obviously, 142 is immensely momentous.
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Some people will tell you that all that matters are matter and the purely physical laws that govern it. They say that if something can’t be understood by the rational mind—even though it may not yet be understood by any rational mind—then it isn’t existent and it is, therefore, irrelevant.
Other people will tell you that the core of human existence is spirituality. To them, what matters most is what goes on in the ethereal, indefinable, metaphysical human soul.
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