Shalampax Speaks

Cherrytart, the closest thing Shalampax has had to a celebrity since our celeb-wannabe, Openfly, flew the coop, attempted to launch her singing career at a concert last night.

The room, the largest in Shalampax, was packed with more than 300 people. The record attendance can be attributed to the fact that the concert promoters promised—and delivered—plentiful posh food and drink, along with a payment of $500 each to everyone who attended.

The critics were uncharacteristically unanimous. As if with a single voice, they all exuberantly proclaimed that Cherrytart should, in the interest of public safety, never sing again.

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