Crabs Special
A little while back, I told you about the opening of Shalampax’s Most Exclusive Restaurant. It seems that, unbeknownst to the diners, crabs were on the menu. In their defense, I should add that Barfontable and Shitonfloor, the proprietors of the restaurant, were also unaware of it.
Fortunately, the Shalampax Medical Clinic has an ample supply of creams and shampoos that can reliably treat crabs, also know as pubic lice.
Any one who took advantage of Shalampax’s Most Exclusive Restaurant’s opening specials (free sexual intercourse with Barfontable and/or Shitontable with every full-priced four- or five-course meal), is advised to visit the Shalampax Medical Clinic to obtain the treatment as soon as possible.
Also, please advise all of the people you’ve had sex with or shared towels with since visiting the restaurant that they should get checked out at the clinic too.
Until you have been verified as being clear of crabs you should refrain from having sex with anyone other than yourself. And, if you have sex with yourself, remember to wash your palm and/or finger thoroughly afterward. All towels you use should be washed in hot water after each use.
In an act of selfless generosity, Barfontable and Shitonfloor have volunteered to not issue additional invoices to diners for this unannounced addition to their dining experience.
Wow living in Shalampax seems to be hazardous to your health in many different ways. Can Shalampaxians go and come as they plz. I mean like escape from there!!!
Oh Roschelle – perish the thought. Sane citizens of the world should shun any Shalampaxians that manage to escape the confines of their island. Besides, from what I’ve been told, travel off the island would likely prove far to taxing to the limited physical energy and attention span of most.
@Roschelle & @David: David is absolutely right. I think he’s made a study of us. Most of us would love to leave this hell hole, but there are numerous serious international arrest warrants out against most of us.