Narcissists Anonymous
An inaugural meeting of the Shalampax chapter of Narcissists Anonymous was held last evening. It did not go well.
Twelve staunch narcissists gathered to begin what was to be the first step in their twelve-step program to cure themselves of their narcissism or, at least, to reduce its outward signs. The meeting was to begin with introductions that were, as is the usual formula for these sorts of meetings, to include an admission of each participant’s narcissism.
A fight immediately broke out when everyone present insisted that he or she deserved to go first based on his or her superior appearance, intellect and abilities.
When I say “fight,” that might be exaggerating the circumstances somewhat. Because all of the narcissists were afraid that fisticuffs might mar their exquisite visage, the “fight” involved a little mild shoving and a lot of strong words promoting the shouter’s merits as a reason why he or she should go first.
It was finally agreed that the order of introductions should be decided by drawing numbers from a hat. Because everyone thought that he or she had the best hat due to his or her discerning taste in headwear, they modified the rule to simply pull a number from a heap of numbered pieces of paper thrown on top of a table.
Two hours after the introductions finally started, another fight broke out when Spideronnose, who had won the right to go first, still hadn’t finished introducing herself. She had not yet got around to admitting her narcissism and the other participants were anxious to sing their own praises.
The meeting ended in disarray. A date was not set for the next Narcissists Anonymous meeting because no mutually convenient date could be found and all of the narcissists present insisted that their calendars should take precedence.
>>>Twelve stanch narcissists
If things had come to fisticuffs, since these 12 were experts in the stopping of blood loss, the others would have been in good company. Unless in Shalampax this word is a derivative of stink.
I must say that it appears like they were staunchly defending their individual superiority. Y’all folks in Shalampax have some interesting clubs and groups.
@David: You’d make a good editor, something that is in short supply (i.e., non-existent) here in Shalampax. Obviously, there was a “u” missing and it should have been “staunch”, not “stanch”. I’ve corrected it in the article. Thanks for pointing that out, wise guy.
In your defense, some on-line dictionaries equate stanch and staunch even though they then go on to define them separately/differently.
As for ‘wise guy’ – I’m nothing if not an incorrigible smart-a$$.
@David: Keep it up. We venerate incorrigible smart-asses here in Shalampax. (Although that’s not enough you an exemption from our “eat foreigners” rule.)
I would suggest that, in order to ‘stanch’ the flow of smart-ass comments, you aught to further revise the same paragraph to read ‘…were to include…’ rather than ‘…was to include…’ in order to agree with the plural ‘introductions’. Other than that, one were amused:)
@malcolm: OK smart-ass. Everyone’s a critic.