Drinking ID
Due to the high incidence of drunkenness among our youth, Shalampax’s Third-Floor Pub is stringently implementing a stern new policy. Effective immediately, people who do not look obviously well over 18 years old will be required to show ID before they will be served alcoholic beverages in the Third-Floor Pub.
So far, there is no word from the owners of the other pubs in Shalampax, but they are expected to follow suit shortly.
Some skeptics scoff at this plan, suggesting that young people will merely secure and present fake IDs. After all, inexpensive laser printers and laminators can do a very good job of producing credible counterfeit IDs.
I don’t think our young people will do that.
Maybe I have a higher opinion of our youth than they deserve, but I trust that they won’t stoop to using phony IDs. Why would they? There’s no minimum drinking age here in Shalampax and Rustycanopener, owner of the Third-Floor Pub, is too hungry for the business to turn anyone down even if there were such a law.
Because any ID, regardless of the age on it, will suffice, bothering to get a false ID would be a complete waste of time and our kids are nothing if not lazy. Then again, they are also complete idiots. So, who knows?
Obviously, this change in policy won’t stop alcohol consumption by our young people. However, having to dig their IDs out of their pockets will defer their drinking for a few seconds. What more can we ask?
Rustycanopener deserves our thanks for his civic-mindedness.
