Natural Gas Company Plan
I usually talk about existing Shalampaxian companies in this space, but today I’m going to tell you about an innovative business idea that a columnist right here at Shalampax Speaks, Stoneupnose, is working on. His plan is to capture his own natural gas and sell it on the open market.
Stoneupnose’s farting capabilities are second to none. What’s more, his farts have been tested and found to have extraordinarily high concentrations of methane, which makes them all the more valuable as a fuel.
There is one possible fly in the ointment. Natural gas prices are currently low, so Stoneupnose’s plan may not be economically viable at this point. However, this has not deterred him. He is investigating the feasibility of compressing his natural gas, storing it in large underground tanks and then selling it when natural gas prices recover.
Stoneupnose has another ace up his sleeve. Methane is one of the most potent of greenhouse gases. If he doesn’t allow his farts to dissipate but, rather, captures them and sells them to be burned as natural gas, the result will be that the greenhouse gasses released into the atmosphere will be less potent than would otherwise be the case. This might entitle him to claim carbon credits that he can sell in countries that have implemented a carbon cap-and-trade mechanism.
Stoneupnose, your neighbors wish you well in your efforts to capture and market your farts. Our noses will thank you if you succeed.
My dad attempted this in the 60′s. His business plan included the fact that “the smell” they added to natural gas for detection would be eliminated; therefore, he would “pass” this savings on to his “gas” customers.
@MadMadMargo: I don’t think Stoneupnose considered that savings. His business plan is looking better all the time.
Tell him we wish him “smell”
@surveygirl46: I’ll pass that along.