Shalampax Speaks

I’m usually known as the old man here at Shalampax Speaks. That’s not surprising as I’m a man and I’m the oldest person working here. Nevertheless, I can still show those young punks a thing or three.

For example, I’m finally getting the hang of this Internet thingy. As proof of that, I’m proud to announce that I just signed up with Twitter.

My Twitter user name is Birdinhand2.

Can you believe it? I thought I was the only Birdinhand in the world. I mean, come on, who else is cruel enough to give their kids names like that other than Shalampaxians?

I was certain that no one else would be that malicious and nasty to their children, but apparently I was wrong. When I signed up with Twitter and tried to claim my name, Birdinhand, I found that it was already taken, so I’m Birdinhand2.

I don’t know who this other Birdinhand is and I have absolutely nothing against him or her, in fact, as far as I know, he or she is probably a wonderful person, but I’m sure that the other Birdinhand is not Shalampaxian because it’s against the law for us to give our children the same name as another Shalampaxian.

True, Shalampaxians don’t have a lot of respect for the law, but this is a very small country. If there was another Birdinhand here, I’m sure I would have heard about it.

Anyway, Birdinhand2 is now an active account on Twitter. If I’ve set this blog up right then a twit, if that’s the word I’m looking for, should appear on my Twitter account for every new post on Shalampax Speaks, regardless of whether it’s written by me or another of the authors here.

However, since I’m a total techno-klutz, it’s unlikely that I set it up right. You’ll know if I did, because, if so, there should be a twit on Twitter about this post. If I didn’t set it up right, then I’ll keep trying and hopefully the next post or, if not that, then the one after it will show up there.

Then again, if you’re reading this, you probably don’t care about twits on these posts because you’re already here, so a twit about this post would be superfluous. To make a short story long, never mind about whether a twit about this post showed up on Twitter. It doesn’t affect you one way or the other.

In addition to twits about blog posts, I’ll also be twitting about, as Twitter asks, what I’m doing throughout the day. Why am I doing this? Because enquiring minds with nothing better to do (and pretty much anything would be better) want to know.

To be truthful, I’ve consciously resisted joining Twitter for a long time. I thought that, because twits are limited to 140 characters, I’d have to spend too much time twitting if I wanted to tell you everything that was on my mind.

Then I saw the results of the survey that said that, 93 percent of the time, everything on any Shalampaxian’s mind can be divulged and analyzed in a single 140-character twit. That made me realize that I had probably overestimated the work involved.

So there you have it. I’m now a Twit. Please follow me. Although, I’d recommend not following me too closely for the next little while because I have a bad case of gas.