Divine Shopping
I don’t think the marketing folks over at Religco ever sleep. It was only a short while ago that they launched the Infinitiaty cult religion. Now, they are busy increasing the revenue potential of Infinitiaty.
Religco or, more precisely, its Infinitiaty subsidiary recently opened the Infinitiaty Church Store. Infinitiaty’s religious leaders encourage believers to show their infinite piety by shopping in this heavenly online store.
The Infinitiaty Church Store offers a variety of merchandise, including shirts, sweatshirts, bumper stickers and more.
Most of the products bear the inspirational message, “God is Great. An Infinity of Gods is Infinitely Greater.” However, at least one item bears a different message. There’s a thong for sale that says … well, you’re going to have to see for yourself what it says. All I’ll say is that I’ve got to get me one in case I ever get some hunk of a pious guy alone.
If you’re already an Infinitiaty believer or you’re thinking of becoming one, you definitely owe it to yourself to check out the Infinitiaty Church Store for yourself.
Oh, and I’m not sure that the Church of Infinitiaty is going to stop there. I did a few seconds of sleuthing. (It’s the least I could do for you, my loyal readers. But don’t press your luck.) I found out that Religco bought the infinitiaty.com and infinitiaty.org domain names through a third-party to disguise their ownership.
At the moment, infinitiaty.com and infinitiaty.org redirect to the Infinitiaty page in the Shalampax cult religion catalog. Might Religco be planning something for these sites in the future? I don’t know. My contacts at Religco and its Infinitiaty subsidiary refuse to tell me anything before they are ready to go public with it. They know I’ll publish it here if they do. But, knowing Religco, I’m sure it’s got something up it’s sleeves.
Stay tuned.
That thong makes waiting for that rapture thing that all those christianists are always raving about seem suddenly far more desirable.
@David: Yes, doesn’t it? I know I desire it.
Thank you for your lofty recommendation, Snotontable, but I’m sticking with “We Be Sellin’ Shirts ‘N Shit”, they have a bigger variety.
BTW, I looked up the word “infinitiaty” over at dictionary.com – there is no such word. What does it mean?
@MadMadMargo: OK, but remember, Infinitiaty has an infinite number of Gods. Don’t blame me if a few of them punish you for not shopping at the store.
I’m not surprised you didn’t find Infinitiaty. It is a proper name, not a word. It is the name of Religco’s latest religion.
Stand your ground there, Snotontable. I consulted my frieds, the Googles, and they can find nothing to support the existence of MMM’go’s alleged “We Be Sellin’ Shirts ‘N Shit”. While it is certainly a nifty name for one of those internets and webish businesses, I think she is trying to force Infinitiaty into some discounts or price reductions. I’m not even certain she is a real living humanoid. Be careful…very, very careful.
Pffffffft!
@David: I do intend to stand my ground. And, if she’s looking for discounts, she can forget about it. Religco doesn’t do discounts.
@MadMadMargo: I take it that’s your way of saying that you don’t believe or don’t care what I say. OK, but, like I said, don’t blame me when the Gods punish you.
I’m so embarrassed. The Googles are my friends, not my frieds.
@David: I’m even more embarrassed. I read it and didn’t notice your typo. I read what I knew you meant to write, not what you did, in fact, write.
@Snotontable
Discounts? Did you say discounts? How about a discount at The Shalampax Coat of Arms Shop? Say, 100% off? Yeah, that’s the ticket!
@MadMadMargo: Discounts? Are you kidding? You’re clearly NOT a Shalampaxian, despite your past suggestions that you are. Haven’t you learned anything about us yet? Discounts are definitely out of the question for any shops run by Shalampaxians. However, if you want to send us something a little extra over the list price for being such nice people, we’ll find a way to accept that.
@Snotontable
Just because I’m a “free” thinker does not exclude me from my heritage as a Shalampaxian.
@MadMadMargo: Wow! I think that’s the first time I’ve ever read the words “thinker” and “Shalampaxian” in the same sentence, unless the author was suggesting the two were mutually exclusive.