Schmendrick’s Request
I have just this minute received an email from a peeved person named Mandrake Schmendrick, who lives in Oshkosh, Wisconsin, USA, wherever the hell that is—it sounds like a made up place to me. Mr. Schmendrick has asked me to issue the following public request.
Would the Shalampaxian who, [for a reason that I can’t possibly fathom,] used a pseudonym to go on eBay to buy a low-mileage, midnight blue 1993 Toyota Corolla, license plate ILUV69, please arrange to have his or car moved. It is blocking Mr. Schmendrick’s driveway.
Mr. Schmendrick threatens that if the car is not moved within three hours it will be towed at the owner’s expense.
Yeah, like a Shalampaxian owner is going to pay for the tow of a car that he or she can’t use because we have no roads here in Shalampax. Good luck collecting that towing fee, Mr. Schmendrick.
Just out of curiosity, Mr. Schmendrick, did you recently publicly disparage one of our spam companies? It’s just a thought. They can be downright irrational when it comes to how far they will go to exact revenge on someone who does.
