Day Day
Today is Day Day in Shalampax, a day when we honor no specific national event or person, but rather the very concept of “Day” holidays.
Many countries have Days to celebrate the anniversary of their independence and/or formation. The United States calls its Day “Independence Day.” I’m told that Canada calls its Day “Canada Day” and Australia calls its Day “Australia Day.” Those Canucks and Aussies are so very creative, aren’t they?
Depending on where you live, you might also have Days to commemorate specific individuals, such as “Martin Luther King Day” to celebrate, well, er, Martin Luther King, who was an African-American king or maybe he was just a prince who would have become king had he not been assassinated by some wacko—I’m not sure which; “Saint Patrick’s Day” to honor, a saint named Patrick who invented the color green; or “Victoria Day” to celebrate the long-deceased Queen Victoria. I’m not certain, but I think Queen Victoria founded Victoria’s Secret.
Or you might have a “Day” holiday to celebrate a type of person, such as “President’s Day,” “Mother’s Day,” or “Father’s Day.” We’re considering establishing a “Useless Twit’s Day” here in Shalampax to honor the masses and our politicians. (Those of you who live outside of Shalampax don’t know how lucky you are to have honest, hard-working, intelligent politicians. Then again, ours sleep most of the time, which prevents them from doing too much damage.)
Of course, there are also religious holidays, such as Christmas Day and Groundhog Day.
Then there are the “Day” holidays that celebrate human activities such as, depending on what country you are in, “Labor Day,” “Labour Day,” “Thanksgiving Day,” “Boxing Day” (I’ve never figured out why anyone would celebrate that), “Memorial Day,” and “Remembrance Day.” By the way, I was wondering, are Alzheimer’s patients exempt from Memorial Day and Remembrance Day?
And at least one day of the year, “New Year’s Day,” gets its own Day just for being that day of the year. Why a single, arbitrarily selected temporal demarcation should get its own Day when the 364 other days—or 365 on leap years—don’t is beyond me, but so be it.
But, as far as I know, Shalampax is the only country to have a national holiday to commemorate the very concept of “Day” holidays. It surprising that we are the only place to do this because, what is more cherished by one and all than holidays, particularly holidays when you’re not expected to cook a turkey, give gifts, gather with relatives you hate or feel guilty about anything?
Happy Day Day!
This sounds like a charming custom but, I must ask, why on earth would I ever be expected to cook a fricken turkey? And who the heck would want to eat it if I did cook one?
Sometimes I think the staff of writers at Shalampax Speaks are on drugs not commonly available to the general public. And that makes me damn mad that you aren’t sharing them.
@David: I was under the impression that there were some holidays celebrated in other countries during which it is customary to eat turkey. If I’ve been misinformed about that, I apologize.
No, we’re not on drugs. This is just the way our brains are wired. Sorry about that.
I recommend that you submit the “Day” Day concept to the United States Congress. They tend to want to make national holidays of about every day they can think of. What’s not to like? Banks, schools, and most businesses close and workers sit around and loaf. We can always use another national holiday.
@Patricia: Would they pay me for the idea? After all, I’d want something to stimulate me to take the time to submit it.
Well, the French are known to enjoy the occasional Turducken or so I’m told but I’m not aware of it being associated with that Beheading The Royals Day celebration they have – although that would make sense since they behead the birds before cooking. I’ll need to google this or I won’t get a wink of sleep tonight wondering about it.
@David: Thanks for the info. Do they still have a Beheading the Royals Day in France? I would have thought they’d have run out of royals by now. Or do the French forcibly appoint some royals on that day just so they can behead the hapless, very short-term monarchs?
I must concede that my trips to vacation in the south of France and my annual pilgrimage to the Eiffel Tower have never taken place on that particular holiday so I’m not sure. I believe they choose various descendents of Counts, Countesses and Courtesans from the Monarchy (pre-revolution) period to “re-enact” the beheading holiday celebrations. But my research thus far indicates that it is just a celebration to recognize/honor the original event. I’ve also discovered that the descendents of the original hunchback of Notre Dame perform the ceremonial beheadings – it’s on the internet so it must be true. Back to Google for further investigation.
@David: When you say “re-enact” do you mean it’s all just play acting and they don’t actually chop any heads off? That’s rather lame, don’t you think?
If it’s on the Internet, then you’re right, it must accurate. Everything on the Internet is the Paahlm’s honest truth.