Shalampax Speaks

Splitcoconut has asked me to pass along word that he recently achieved an important milestone that he as been striving to attain for a few days now. He hopes that all of his family and friends will join him in joyously celebrating this important feat.

Yes, after nine consecutive days of excruciating constipation, Splitcoconut was finally able to give a shit. Although, rhetorically speaking, he, like most Shalampaxians, still doesn’t give a shit about much else.

Way to go Splitcoconut! This calls for a round of prunes for everyone!