Shalampax Speaks

Many people spend considerable time and end up terribly frustrated searching for answers they will never find.

How did the universe form? What was here before it came into existence? Is there a purpose to life or do we just exist? Whether or not species evolved, how did the first life-form come to be? How are a few unsightly, dweebs of men able to hook up with some of the most beautiful of women? These and many other seemingly momentous questions have plagued humanity for millennia.

Right here in Shalampax there are a number of enigmas specific to our island that no one has been able to solve. For example, consider the following:

• Clearly, there is no way that primitive people could have safely migrated here. Thus, we must have been created by Paahlm on this island, but why would Paahlm create us and then force us to live in this formidably oppressive place?
• Our island is an almost perfect oval. And, despite being buffeted by violent seas that smash just about everything else except the pointy rock outcroppings around our island that are severe hazards to all vessels, the cliffs that serve as our island’s shores never erode. How can this be?
• We had to construct our building of specially reinforced, heavy quarried rock to withstand the winds here. On all but the calmest of days, nothing else we’ve constructed has been able to survive outside. Yet the trees in our palm patch almost never blow down. In fact, they occasionally manage to bear us coconuts that are not blown away before they ripen. How can this be?

We could spend many years worrying about these questions, researching the issues, performing experiments, analyzing our findings, and hiring expensive academics to assist us, but we still would likely not come up with definitive answers. This would serve only to frustrate us more if we were indeed frustrated at all by such things.

But there is no reason for us to go through all of that angst and do all of that research and thought when the answer is staring us right in the face: It is all part of Paahlm’s great plan. And we mere mortals couldn’t possibly understand the plans of the Holy One, Paahlm, blessed be It, so we shouldn’t even try.

Accepting this provides great comfort. It frees us from the need to think. And it frees us from tormenting ourselves with angst over life’s big questions. Instead, we can relax, watch television, nap and occasionally praise Paahlm.

That’s why I choose spirituality over rational thought every time. It frees us from anxiety and from the need to think at all. Who could ask for anything more?