Christmas, Chanukah & Whatever Presents
This is the time of year when many people, in many parts of the world feverishly shop for Christmas, Chanukah (aka, Hanukkah) and whatever presents. During this joyous spending season, the leaders of Shalampax’s spam companies have asked me to remind you that male enhancement and breast enlarging and firming lotions, potions and contraptions make perfect gifts.
What insecure person on your list wouldn’t want to get the gift of a longer, thicker penis or a larger, firmer breast, as the case may be? So, this festive season, give your family, friends, neighbors, coworkers and paramours the present they really want. Give them the porn star body parts they always dreamed of, but were afraid to ask for.
There is still plenty of time to order and have your gift delivered in time for Christmas. Chanukah is almost here and our spam companies cannot promise to have deliveries in your loved ones hands, so to speak, in time for the first night of Chanukah. However, order right now, and our spam companies guarantee to have your gift delivered in time for the lighting of the eighth candle.
I can’t give you a Web site to visit because our spam companies change their Web addresses frequently for security reasons, but check your email inbox. There you will, no doubt, find dozens or possibly even hundreds of offers from our spam companies giving complete ordering information and, in particular, instructions on how to pay for your orders.
I hope that each and every one of you will have a Merry Christmas, Happy Chanukah, or Joyous Whatever. And I feel confident in saying that, if you put these gifts to use, you will definitely have a very Happy New Year.
What is the protocol for gifting to my friends who are hermaphodites? Do I give both breast enlargments as well as penis enhancements? Is there a combo package available?
Come to think of it, that combo would also be useful as a gift to a couple of regular single sexed persons.
@David: You’ll have to figure out the protocol for hermaphrodites on your own. Sorry, I don’t know anything about that. As to the combo twin-pack, I’m not sure if that’s still available. Our spam companies typically keep their deals active until someone shows interest and then they try to up-sell the interested parties. I love these guys.