Marie the Trader
Hey peeps, I’m sure you are reading the narratives that Marie told to Openfly as avidly as I am. The following is a transcript of a conversation in which Marie tells Openfly about how she traded with passing ships while she was in Shalampax.
“When I told you about teaching English to the people that I came to call Shalampaxians, I mentioned that I convinced the Shalampaxians to row me out to any ships that passed by during weather that was sufficiently clement to be out on the ocean without risking life and limb. That allowed me to trade for anything with pictures that could be used in my English lessons. What I don’t think I mentioned is that, whenever possible, I also traded for a few creature comforts that Shalampaxians had never seen before
“It is not as though the Shalampaxians had not tried to trade with passing ships before I came along. It’s just that they failed in these endeavors.
“You have to understand that, before I taught them English, their language consisted of grunts, shrieks and groans. Personal hygiene was almost non-existent. And they had no concept of cutting hair or shaving faces, underarms or wherever. (This is despite the fact that the sharp rocks that were exposed during low tide would have done—and, after I discovered the rocks, did—that job admirably.) And clothing wasn’t, as they say, optional. It didn’t exist at all.
“Before I arrived, the Shalampaxians paddled some rudimentary rafts out to passing ships, looking more like wild animals than anything vaguely resembling civilized humans. When they arrived at a ship, they shrieked and grunted their lungs out to try to communicate with the sailors. I wasn’t in Shalampax back then, but I can visualize the scene. I’m not at all surprised that the sailors were frightened by them.
“From the descriptions I heard of the events, it sounded as if the sailors fired warning shots at the Shalampaxians’ boats. The Shalampaxians weren’t aware of modern technologies, but when they saw what must have been bullets hitting the water, and they saw some wood being knocked violently off their rafts whenever a ‘warning shot” hit their rafts, they were smart enough to get the hell out of there quickly.
“As a result, the Shalampaxians got nothing from the passing ships in the time before my arrival.
“After I washed up on the island and regained my strength, I went out on trading expeditions and used my English to induce the sailors on passing ships to trade with us for some of the coconuts that we brought from the island. The fact that I had sex with some of the merchant sailors, usually including the captain of the vessel, probably allowed me to strike much harder bargains than I could have otherwise.
[Marie laughed at this point.]
“I just realized what I said. When I said ‘a much harder bargain,’ I didn’t intend that as a sexual pun. I guess it was a Freudian slip. Although, both senses of the word were true.
“I don’t want you to get the idea that I prostituted myself. As I told you before, I’m a certified nymphomaniac. I had sex with the captain and crew because I wanted to. If they decided to be more generous with their trades because of it, that was their business. I wouldn’t have refused them sex if they hadn’t agreed to be more generous than warranted by the few coconuts that we brought to trade. Then again, I didn’t go out of my way to make that clear to them.
“My early attempts at trading were hampered by the boat we used to meet the ships. To be clear, the word ‘boat’ is somewhat of a misnomer. ‘Flimsy raft built from lashed-together driftwood,’ would be more accurate.
“Because of the limited capacity of this raft, we couldn’t bring too much back on each trip. And, because we weren’t, in any stretch of the imagination, a scheduled port of call, the ships rarely waited for us to make a second trip.
“After the first couple of trading trips, I got the bright idea of taking one of the more sexually active and adventuresome Shalampaxian women with me. I would have taken more, but the raft couldn’t accommodated any more.
“On that trip, thanks, I will admit, to the sexual activities of myself and my Shalampaxian companion, we were able to trade for one of the ship’s lifeboats. My companion and I ditched the not-so-trusty raft that we arrived on and rowed the lifeboat back to the island. When we got back to Shalampax, we were careful to wedge the lifeboat tightly between a couple of palm trees that were particularly close together so the boat wouldn’t blow away. With the help of some of the stronger men, we also placed some heavy rocks in front of and behind the boat for good measure. That was the lifeboat’s regular docking place from that point on.
“On my next trading expedition I again took a female Shalampaxian and we were able to trade for enough lumber, nails, and waterproof sealant to build a floating trailer so we could bring more goods back on each trading trip.
“I don’t want to give you the impression that this gave the Shalampaxians and me anything close to a comfortable life. Because of the foul weather that constantly engulfed the island and because of the infrequency of ships passing, we were rarely able to go out on a trading expedition more than once a month.
“To the best of my recollection, there might have been a couple of months when we managed two expeditions in a month, but never more than that. And there were a few months when no ships passed by at a climatically fortuitous time. In total, I probably went out on no more than 20 trading expeditions or maybe, at most, two dozen times in the almost two years I was there. Judging from the tremendous progress they’ve made, I assume that the Shalampaxians continued their trading after I left.
“Further hampering the success of our trading expeditions, in addition to their infrequency, we also had to be selective in what we traded for. I wanted to expand my and the Shalampaxian’s diet beyond coconuts and fish, but Shalampax is near the equator, so it’s always hot. And we didn’t have any refrigeration. Therefore, there was no point in taking perishable goods in quantities larger than we could consume within a couple of days.
“I mostly bought back canned goods and dried food. None of that made for terribly exciting cuisine, but it was better than eating only fish and coconuts for months on end.
“Whenever I could, I also traded for things we could use to improve our shelter. However, because of the frequent—almost nonstop—gale-force winds, anything that was much less sturdy than steel was useless to us when it came to building materials.
“I had become quite adept at trading for anything I needed. But my misplaced belief that the Shalampaxians liked me and appreciated my efforts to bring them into the modern age prevented me from trading for the one thing that, in retrospect, I now realize could have been most useful to me.
“I’ve only recently learned—as a result of reading the official Shalampax Web site and Shalampax Speaks—that when the Shalampaxians frightened me into fleeing the island by telling me that they cannibalized foreigners, they were lying. They chased me away for the rather petty crime of correcting their grammar more often than they would have liked.
“I wish that we had discussed it. I could have been less of a grammar stickler and I would have stayed with them longer and helped them to progress further if they had let me. Or, that failing, I could have taken advantage of my trading trips to trade for passage on a comfortable ship rather than risking my life fleeing Shalampax on a flimsy raft that they had, unbeknownst to me, strung together for just that purpose.
“I barely survived the journey in that raft and I could have easily ended up dead. I know my trading skills could have bought me much more comfortable passage if I had been granted the chance to use my skills to that end.
“What’s more, I’m also certain that, given more time, I could have helped the Shalampaxians to improve their trading skills. Then again, from what I’ve been reading, they seem to have done OK on their own.”
That’s it for now. peeps. I’ll publish more transcripts of Marie’s conversations with Openfly in future editions of Shalampax Speaks.
