Computer Art Contest
The Shalampax school recently ran a computer-generated art contest for its students because the teachers didn’t feel like teaching and they couldn’t think of anything else to do to fill in the time. The students were allowed to use any graphics software they could pirate for free off the Internet. However, all works had to be completely original. Specifically, the students were not allowed to use clip-art.
Surprisingly, the students proved to be ambitious and creative in this endeavor. As a result, the judges had a hard time picking the winners. However, they did eventually award gold-, silver- and bronze-colored paper ribbons to the winners.
Without further ado, the following are the contest winners:
Bronze Prize: Dinner by Mannapping
Dinner
The judges commended Mannapping on her choice of a subject near and dear to Shalampaxians’ hearts, food, which comes third to sleep and sex on the list of Shalampaxians’ favorite things. The judges also awarded Mannapping points for her use of a clean design and simple lines.
I don’t quite know what Mannapping has depicted on the dinner plate. I figure it’s either insects or fish bones. Whatever it is, I’m glad to see that at least one little Shalampaxian girl is getting her protein.
Silver Prize: Barf on Floor by, coincidentally, Barfonfloor
Barf on Floor
The silver prize went to Barfonfloor for her picture of barf on a floor. The judges awarded her points for capturing the very essence of life in Shalampax.
The judges also praised Barfonfloor for her decision to not include a person in the picture. In this way, said the judges, all Shalampaxians could imagine themselves in the scene.
Barfonfloor was also awarded points for creating an image that reflected her name and in sympathy for having that name.
Gold Prize: One of Mommy’s Many Special Friends by Peeonfloor
One of Mommy's Many Special Friends
The top prize, the coveted gold-colored paper ribbon, went to Peeonfloor for his image titled One of Mommy’s Many Special Friends. The judges felt that Peeonfloor showed considerable boldness in choosing such a personal subject. They also valued highly the very primitive nature of his picture.
Interestingly, Peeonfloor would not have ended anywhere close to ribbon contention were it not for the fact that all of the male judges awarded him perfect scores. The male judges also offered to meet one-on-one with Peeonfloor’s mother to discuss how to help to further develop Peeonfloor’s art talent.
As for me, as a woman, all I know is I’d like to meet the subject of Peeonfloor’s picture. I’m loving the proportions.
Good God, either that last subject has really skinny legs, or…. Ouch! is all I can say.
@Margaret: Aren’t they all that thick? Actually, I don’t think it’s drawn to scale. The penises of Shalampaxian men are usually longer.
What the hell! Hilarious comedy that is!
I’m really sorry to learn that the men of Shalampax are viewed as being so under-endowed. How sad.
omg, thanks for posting this! The pics along with your commentary made me laugh SO hard!!
And as for that last one….wow. You took the words right out of my mouth! I, too, am loving the proportions! That one must be Mommy’s REALLY special friend! I know he’d certainly be mine!
once again, great post! I’m still laughing!
@Jaky Astik: I’m glad you enjoyed it. Although, I worry that you laughing at them might injure the self-esteem of our children. Nah. They can’t read anyway so they won’t see your comment.
@David: I’ve never complained about them. As I said in response to Margaret, it wasn’t exactly to scale. I don’t know who the subject was but, based on the Shalampaxian average, the width might be slightly–but only slightly–exaggerated, but most of the Shalampaxian men I’ve had have been longer.
@The Fitness Diva: I’m glad you enjoyed it, but we Shalampaxians don’t particularly enjoy being laughed at. This is about the most serious art we have here.
I’ll bet you’re wishing you could visit Shalampax without being eaten. And, when I say “eaten,” I don’t mean that in a good way. We are very suspicious of foreigners and cannibalize them if they manage to come to our island.