Shalampax Speaks

Roof, who we now know fathered MadMadMargo with Marie, has been terribly depressed since learning that Marie did not recall having had sex with him while she was in Shalampax. According to Roof, Marie was the most important, most loved person in his life. And he remembers sex with her as being intensely passionate.

Roof was busy feeling terribly sorry for himself until he remembered that Marie wouldn’t have known him as “Roof.” He didn’t take his current name until he saw the roof being put on Shalampax’s building, which didn’t happen until years after Marie left. Until then, he used his pre-Marie grunting and shrieking name that can best be rendered in English as “Geeerkreeek.”

Roof also tells me that while Marie was here he proposed marriage to her a number of times. He was turned down every time, but he thinks that he was the only man in Shalampax to ever propose to Marie, although he’s not certain about the women.

I passed that information on to Openfly and asked her to see if it jogged Marie’s memory. Here’s what Marie told Openfly.

“Geeerkreeek? The name doesn’t sound particularly familiar, but all of the names that the people on the island used before I came along sounded like nothing more than screeches and squawks to me. I couldn’t tell one name from another.

“But I do remember the guy who proposed to me. There was only one. That was Roof? Oh man, I loved that guy. I tried to get him to adopt a name that I could remember and say, but he refused. He never told me why. I’m glad to hear he finally has a pronounceable name.

“Roof was great. He was the best lover I had in Shalampax—and since. And he was the sweetest guy you’d ever want to meet. But I wasn’t into marriage then. I was a hippie before there were hippies. To my thinking at the time, marriage seemed like a prison sentence.

“In fact, I was surprised that any Shalampaxian would ask me to marry him after what I taught them about marriage. The whole concept of matrimony was foreign to them before I explained it. Prior to that, they formed relationships; some of their relationships were even somewhat exclusive, but the relationships were never formalized.

“Because of my free-love philosophy back then, I told the Shalampaxians about marriage as a part of what I considered to be my responsibility to educate them, but I preached free love and denounced the shackles of marriage.

“So when Roof proposed to me—again, and again, and again—I was floored. I tried to pretend I was indignant over him proposing after all I had said about marriage, but I was secretly touched.

“Nonetheless, marriage would never have worked. I was a super-nymphomaniac back then. There’s no way I was going to promise monogamy. I don’t make promises I know I can’t keep and I knew I wouldn’t be able to keep that one. So marriage was out of the question.

“I’ve changed a lot since then. I now see considerable emotional value in entering into a deep, committed, soulful relationship with someone you love. At one time I would have added, ‘particularly if he has money,’ but I’m fairly wealthy now. On the other hand, despite having slowed down now that I’m in my eighties, I still don’t think I could be satisfied with just one man.

“It’ll be great getting back together with Roof if I visit Shalampax with MadMadMargo. But I seem to remember reading in one of the Shalampax Speaks columns that Roof is married. That could be a problem.

“I wonder if his wife is the same woman he had been spending a lot of time with when I was screwing him back in the old days. It’s funny. As soon as I explained the concept of marriage to him, he started calling her his wife even though he proposed marriage to me. Hmm. Maybe he did understand my free love message, after all.”

Isn’t that a touching story, peeps? Later.