Fighting the Obesity Epidemic
Over the years, an obesity epidemic has pervaded Shalampax. It did not happen abruptly, but rather it crept up unnoticed and grew until it could no longer be ignored.
Under the emergency powers that it has always held, the Shalampax Medical Clinic is taking bold steps to address this problem. Effective immediately, Shalampax will switch to metric measures, at least when it comes to people’s weights.
This is being done because people weigh much less on metric scales. For example a 300 pound person will, once the conversion to metric is complete, weigh only 136 kilograms. So, my fellow Shalampaxians, eat hearty and continue in your joyfully slothful ways, confident in the knowledge that help is on the way. And you don’t need to do a thing.
Americans have avoided adopting the metric system. I agree with Shalampaxians that this might just be the way to convince the typically overweight American to “go metric.”
I always get confused when I go to Canada where they use the metric clock.
@Patricia: Yes, I know that I feel lighter already.
@David: I’ve heard of this Canada. They’re on the metric clock? That sounds like a good idea. If you have ten-hour days and you sleep eight hours you only need to find ways to waste another two hours. That makes sense to me. Those Canadians are smart people.