Looking Forward to Parliament
Looking ahead to the remainder of this week, the big excitement here in Shalampax is that Parliament will be reopening on Wednesday, March 3 after an extended National Democracy Month prorogation. (Prorogation shuts down Parliament and all of its committees. Considering how much our parliamentarians hate serving in our Parliament, it is surprising how infrequently prorogation is used here. However, I’m told that proroguing Parliament is a favorite practice of Canada’s Prime Minister, Stephen Harper.)
All Shalampaxians are greatly looking forward to having our Parliament in session again because, with our Members of Parliament finally back in their chairs snoozing away, there will be much more room for the rest of us at Shalampax’s bars.
As is customary, the new session of Parliament will open with “the speech from the throne.” Many past Prime Ministers have found this to be rather embarrassing because, in Shalampax’s case, the throne is a toilet. However, Manexposinghimself, our current Prime Minister, has always taken this in his stride.
There have been rumors that, immediately following the throne speech, a Member of Parliament—the rumor mill isn’t saying which one—will rise on a Point of Privilege. Rumor has it that this member will then present a motion accusing Manexposinghimself of contempt of Parliament for farting loudly during the throne speech, as he inevitably does on these occasions. If the motion is presented, Manexposinghimself is expected to be cleared of the contempt of Parliament charge because all of the other Members of Parliament will certainly have fallen asleep by the time the vote is taken.
Is the throne a fully functional toilette or is it merely ornament?
Is Manexposinghimself provided with one, two or three ply toilet tissue? Is there an offical wiper for the Prime Minister or does he service himself?
So many questions come to mind.
@David: It’s a fully functioning toilet and he usually makes the normal use of it during the speech. I know; it’s disgusting, but isn’t democracy worth it?
Knowing Manexposinghimself, because the toilet tissue is paid for with government funds, it’s probably the most expensive available, but I really don’t know for sure.
He does his own wiping. Even Shalampaxians have a limit to their depravity.