Earthquake Preparedness
Although it wasn’t known when our building was constructed, it has recently come to light that Shalampax is in an earthquake-prone zone. Because our building was not built to withstand earthquakes, a major quake would almost certainly bring the massive stone blocks that form our building’s walls crashing down on our heads.
Emergency preparedness experts typically advise that, in the event of an earthquake, you should not panic. This is not the recommendation of the Shalampax government.
Everyone in our building would almost certainly die in the event of a major quake. Our island is so small that there would likely be no place to escape the crashing boulders. And because of the sharp rocks surrounding our island and the near perpetual stormy seas, heading out into the ocean to escape the destruction will almost certainly be lethal as well.
Consequently, whether you remain calm or panic, the result will inevitably be the same: death. As a result, in the event of an earthquake, Shalampaxians are advised to do whatever comes naturally, regardless of whether that is experiencing sheer terror, entering into a Zen-like state, or anything in between. You might as well be yourself if you only have a few seconds left to live.
Have a nice day.
