Creation Curriculum Debated
There has been considerable debate of late among the faculty of the Shalampax school. A few teachers want to change what is taught about how the human species came to be.
Currently, students are taught the widely held, and obviously true, theory that Paahlm, our Lord, created one male human embryo and one female human embryo and implanted each in its own exceptionally large coconut. These male-bearing and female-bearing coconuts both grew on a single coconut palm tree on the island that we now call Shalampax. When the embryo-embracing coconuts fell to the ground they burst open, exposing the then full-term babies.
Some Shalampax school faculty claim that science proves that this theory is false. Instead, they believe that we should teach the modern theory of the formation of the human species. According to this hypothesis, rather than forming in coconuts, humans grew from coconuts, although this was, of course, still guided by Paahlm.
According to this more scientific theory, two coconuts were involved in the creation of each species. In males, during formation of the species, the two coconuts shrank and formed testicles. The male body then grew around those testicles.
In the female of the species, the coconuts softened, lost their hairy exterior, and formed breasts. The female body then grew out behind the breasts.
If the science faculty of the school get their way, this modern, scientific hypothesis will be taught beginning next term. However, some people on the school board are suggesting it should be taught alongside the accepted religious knowledge, possibly positioning them as two equally plausible theories.
This is scandalous! Surely some enterprising reporter will pick up this story and it will be all over the Internet by tomorrow morning when I return to check to see how many comments you have. I can’t believe these escapades on Shalampax are being ignored by the international press.
@Patricia : Enterprising reporter? Surely you jest. I think you’re the only person reading this.
Aw, I’m disappointed. I thought the first man and woman were the result of a big bang theory, so to speak.
@nonamedufus : Nope. One way or another it was coconuts. Trust me.
I believed the female coconuts became ovaries for propagating with male coconut testicles. At least that is what the Googles told me.
@David : Well, that’s an alternate theory, but of course that one is just plain ridiculous. The breasts stick out from the body, so they were clearly formed first. Everything else formed behind them.