Material Faith
It’s not easy being spiritual. Nobody knows that better than the business development and marketing folks at Religco, Shalampax’s leading cult religion vendor. They had a brilliant notion for a new, as of yet unnamed religion.
The idea was that it would be a cult religion based on materialism. The business development and marketing people put a lot of work into advancing the concept. They wrote the cult’s religion’s scriptures, defined its picayune laws, and drafted its ecclesiastic hierarchy.
The premise behind the faith was that it would attract a huge number of adherents because materialism already had such enormous appeal. And, the new cult religion would allow people to revel in their possessions without feeling any guilt about it. What could be wrong with that? It sounds like the perfect cult religion; spirituality made easy.
However, after doing all of this work, folks at Religco realized that the cult religion had a fatal flaw: If adherents worshipped their material goods, they would be reluctant to donate to the church. They would, instead, spend all of their money on stuff for themselves and feel pious for having done so. Thus, there would be no way for the cult religion to prosper. Needless to say, Religco has shelved the idea.
I think if Religco wants to be successful it needs to branch out and act as a middle man for the merchandise. It could print a catalogue, start a website for its cultists, er, ah, followers and wait for the money to roll in. Of course the success of it’s efforts would depend on how appealing it’s merchandise is. The religion could be called 7th Day Hedonists. Praise the Lord and pass the $500 caviar.
@nonamedufus : Those are all excellent ideas, but my informants tell that Religco has now devoted all of its resources to the relaunch of one of its existing religions. I haven’t got a lot of details yet, but, assuming Religco pays its usual graft to the reporters and management here, I’m sure there will be full coverage of the relaunch here in Shalampax Speaks.
I think they were oh so close to an excellent opportunity. I have one word for them: Bonfire of the Vanities.
Instead of forcing people to burn their treasures in bonfires, due to environment regulations in most countries prohibiting bonfires, they would ship their treasures to the cult..er..to Religco theoretically for disposal and then Religco could sell them on eBay. ChaChing ChaChing.
@David : Anything that brings money into the church is good. That, of course, is what religion should be all about.