Public Sex
We don’t have many laws dictating people’s behaviors here in Shalampax, but the Government of Shalampax decided it was time to pass one to deal with some incidents that have occurred recently. If truth be told, these sorts of incidents have been going on for as long as anyone can remember, but our Parliament rarely acts quickly.
With the passage today of the Public Decency and Compensations Act, it is no longer legal to have sex in a public place in Shalampax unless you pay a fee of $675 in advance or $875 after the fact. Members of Parliament expect that people will pay in advance except for spontaneous sex.
On a case-by-case basis, Parliament may grant exemptions if both of the participants look porn-star hot and the Members of Parliament are invited to watch.
The fees will be collected by the government. All such revenue will be split among our Members of Parliament.
Members of Parliament are exempt from this law due to their honored positions, which is typically the missionary position, but they can sometimes be a bit more adventurous.
Where exactly is Shalampax? I think I want to move there. Free beer and sex in public? Hoo-yah! Sounds like more fun than those Sodom and Gomorrah twin cities of Ottawa and Hull!!!
missionary position…hehehe….awesome.
It sounds like more fun than Fresno and Bakersfield.
@nonamedufus: You’re probably forgetting (or don’t know) that we are extremely xenophobic. We usually fall back on our cannibalistic tendencies to eat foreigners if they manage to arrive on our shores. And when I say “eat” I don’t mean it in a good way.
@Gary Anderson: I’m not familiar with Fresno or Bakersfield. I assume there is some sarcasm implied by your statement because I’ve never heard the word “fun” used to describe Shalampax unless there was a negative in the statement.
@Octo-Dolls: I’ve had better.