Shalampax Speaks

Hey, peeps. The word in the halls is that Severedfinger is desperately seeking a new apartment. Apparently, the dust in his current place is now piled so high that he is having trouble squeezing through the constricted space between the top of the dust layers and the ceiling.

He’s also having a particular problem when he returns from the pub after finishing his mostly liquid meal. Climbing up the dust hill behind his door is rather difficult when he’s in the state he is usually in after his thrice-daily sessions at the pub.

Worst of all, he has no idea where his beloved TV is buried.

Someone suggested that Severedfinger should shovel the dust out of his place, but he replied that he doesn’t believe in dusting. He thinks it destroys the karma of a room.

Of course, because we strictly control the population of Shalampax so that the number of apartments is adequate and only adequate to accommodate the population, Severedfinger is going to have a hard time finding an apartment if his place is out of circulation.

Severed finger says that he is willing to room with someone else, but, because his hygiene habits are unacceptable even to Shalampaxians—and that’s saying a lot—I doubt anyone would be willing to take him in as a roommate.

Good luck, Severedfinger. I guess this proves that there is a limit to the validity of the old Shalampaxian saying, “Dust is a man’s (or a woman’s) best friend.”