I’ve been thinking. I haven’t been thinking about anything interesting or relevant to anyone’s life, but thinking is such a rare occurrence for me that I thought I’d mention it.
Have a nice day.
Sage Mike, one of those infinitely spiritual folks over at the Church of Infinitiaty, has taken up blogging. As his adopted name implies, Sage Mike is one of the sages of Infinitiaty. His blog, which is blandly called Sage Mike Prattles, answers questions from members of the Church of Infinitiaty and discusses all things Infinitian.
(If you’re looking for the blog on the Church of Infinitiaty’s Web site you’ll find it under the “Outreach” drop-down menu in the menu bar at the top of the Web site.)
The Church of Paahlm will be holding a bake sale this coming Thursday to raise funds for the Exalted Coconut’s personal slush fund. The sale will be held in the hallway in front of The Third Floor Pub.
It has been more than four months since the church held its last bake sale. The Exalted Coconut felt that it was time for another one because all of the buyers in the last sale have now recuperated from the consequences of consuming the baked goods they purchased.
I am sublimely blissful in a totally spiritual sort of way.
Why? A number of people thought that Religco was being overly optimistic in its forecasts for the success of the re-launch of the Infinitiaty faith. However, it turns out that Religco grossly underestimated its profits from the religion.
It’s been less than two days since Religco announced the re-launch of the Church of Infinitiaty, the faith with an infinity of Gods, but the company’s revenue from the religion is already well ahead of where it was expected to be three months from now. Some religion-business analysts are saying Infinitiaty is going to be the biggest thing to hit the religion business since Jesus. (Although they try to avoid saying that in front of Christians because Christians are very protective of the Jesus brand.)
Many venerable religions have customs and practices that, to outsiders, seem to be outdated, inane, barbaric or, sometimes, all three simultaneously. Paahlmism, the native religion of Shalampax, is no exception.
Consider, for example, our stricture against mixing corn and beans in a single meal. This law is as old as the Paahlmist faith itself. Nobody remembers why this commandment was instituted in the religion, but it remains a strict law of the faith nonetheless.
Many people find this rule against mixing beans and corn to be absurd, but what has some folks particularly up in arms is what, in their eyes, is the exceptionally archaic and barbaric nature of the punishment for committing this sin. The punishment is stoning.
Considering how many religions there are in the world, and particularly right here in Shalampax, there must be at least one faith for which today is hallowed. Heck, for all I know, there could be dozens of religious holidays today.
Consequently, I’m celebrating a religious holiday today and, therefore, won’t be writing a blog post. I don’t know which religion(s) have holidays today, but it would be disrespectful of me, the religion and spirituality writer here at Shalampax Speaks, to not honor the holiday(s) of those faith(s). Furthermore, it would be an infringement of my religious freedoms if my boss refused to give me the day off.
So, sorry, I will not be posting a column in this spot today.
