Ocean Day
Today is Ocean Day in Shalampax.
Living on a tiny speck of an island in the midst of the vast Pacific Ocean, we are ever-conscious of the enormity, majesty, bountifulness, beauty, power and, yes, often destructiveness of our oceans. That is why we honor, venerate, often immensely fear and, particularly on this day, greatly celebrate our planet’s seas.
We are especially appreciative of the fact that there are no more than a few hundred steps—if that—between the ocean and every point on Shalampax. This provides us with easy access to a massive liquid dumping ground where we can, without a care in the world, dispose of our raw sewage and garbage.
We are ever-thankful to Paahlm for having blessed us with this free garbage and sewage dump right on our doorstep. And we pity people in those poor countries where they have to pay to process their sewage and garbage or transport it somewhere far away for disposal. We are truly blessed by Paahlm in this regard.
Many Shalampaxians get into the spirit of Ocean Day by saving up their garbage for weeks. They then ceremoniously fling it into the sea on Ocean Day.
Of course, because of our almost constant gale-force winds, this ceremony often has to be put off for another day for safety reasons. However, our weather forecaster is predicting that this year there should be about an hour this afternoon when it will be safe enough to go outside, provided that you can quickly lash yourself to a tree before commencing the dumping ceremony. Your best bet is to stand on the leeward side of the island so the wind will do most of the flinging work for you.
Happy Ocean Day!



















