Today is Ocean Day in Shalampax.
Living on a tiny speck of an island in the midst of the vast Pacific Ocean, we are ever-conscious of the enormity, majesty, bountifulness, beauty, power and, yes, often destructiveness of our oceans. That is why we honor, venerate, often immensely fear and, particularly on this day, greatly celebrate our planet’s seas.
We are especially appreciative of the fact that there are no more than a few hundred steps—if that—between the ocean and every point on Shalampax. This provides us with easy access to a massive liquid dumping ground where we can, without a care in the world, dispose of our raw sewage and garbage.
Read more…
Today is National Aardvark Day in Shalampax. Just to be clear, there are not now, nor have there ever been any aardvarks in Shalampax. I doubt that any aardvarks have ever come within hundreds of miles of this island. And, if they had any choice in the matter, I’m sure the aardvarks would vote to keep it that way.
So, you may be wondering, why is today National Aardvark day here? That is a good question. The answer is much less good.
Read more…
Rottentomato has almost recovered from eating his own food and he expects to be back in full swing coordinating the culinary experience at his restaurant, Shalampax’s Most Expensive Restaurant, by next week.
Rottentomato is very cognizant of the fact that his menu rarely pays tribute to, let alone even barely alludes to Shalampax’s status as an island nation. Recognizing this, on his return, Rottentomato plans to feature filet of sole as his special.
Read more…
Next Wednesday, in meeting room 4C, Toiletoverflowing will present the next in his series of philosophy lectures. This time, he will dissect the philosophy of Kant.
Next Wednesday’s lecture will be somewhat unique for Toiletoverflowing in that it will be divided into three segments. Attendees will be served milk and cookies in the intermissions. Participants will also be encouraged to take brief naps during these breaks.
In the first part of the lecture Toiletoverflowing will present an overview of the philosophy of Kant. He will focus on the extreme negativity of the Kant viewpoint.
Read more…
Fridays are movie nights in the fourth-floor recreation room. The organizers of these events have been showing “feel good” movies exclusively. They believed that nobody would complain about feel good films. They were wrong.
Maybe they are simply objecting to the poor grammar exhibited in the use of “feel good” in this context, but a few women are upset about being felt, well or otherwise, when they go to the movies. Then again, most of the women who attend are good with it.
Read more…
The Shalampax Medical Clinic has decided to expand its mandate to include a public education component. Henceforth, the clinic will try to enlighten Shalampaxians on health-related issues. This element being added to the clinic’s mission because the medical staff there have come to believe that the happiest, healthiest and best patients are educated patients.
The doctors at the clinic have no idea why this could possibly be the case. In fact, they suspect that they are misunderstanding the concept, but one of the medical staff read it in a popular, mass-circulation magazine that even has its own Facebook page and Twitter account, so it must be true.
Read more…
