Today is National Do Nothing and Don’t Give a Damn Day here in Shalampax. On this day every year we commemorate everything that it means to be a Shalampaxian. Our festivities include a 24-hour-long group nap.
If I gave a damn, I’d tell you to celebrate the day and have a great holiday. But I don’t, so I won’t.
After finally ending a lengthy spiritual retreat in his apartment, in which he used deep meditation to achieve a five-month-long comatose state, Toiletoverflowing is back and ready to resume his wearisome life. Jumping or, more accurately, barely ambling back into his old life, he has decided to resume his wholeheartedly eschewed philosophy lecture series.
This coming Wednesday, Toiletoverflowing will expand on a lecture he gave about a year ago, Being and Nothingness. Next Wednesday’s talk carries that topic forward under the title, On Being and Nothingness: Why Being is Better.
Today is National Materialism Day. Celebrate it!
Get out there and buy as much exorbitantly expensive stuff as you possibly can. Help keep materialism alive and thriving here in Shalampax!
(National Materialism Day is generously brought to you by Garbage Haulers Corp. of Shalampax.)
Shows of local artists’ work are rare in Shalampax because few, if any, people here give a fig about art and even fewer can be bothered to create any art pieces. Redherring has proven herself to be an exception.
As the saying goes, they broke the mold when they made Redherring. Although, that was only because, with all of the writhing in agony that Redherring’s mother was doing while giving birth to Redherring, Redherring’s mother and her midwife dislodged the mold that was encrusted on the delivery room table.
Redherring’s new art show, which will be open from 9:00 to 9:12 this Thursday evening, is titled Visions of a Vacuous Void. The room containing the exhibit will be empty and nothing will adorn the walls.
Today is Nashonall Teetchars Dae, the day set aside for everyone in the tiny nation of Shalampax to commemorate the fine work done by the dedicated teachers employed by our school. Every year on this day we show all due appreciation of the superb job that our teachers have done in educating our students.
In answer to your questions:
The Ides of March was almost a week ago and it was a completely uneventful day here in Shalampax. In fact, it was so humdrum that I totally missed it.
Ho-hum. There’s never a Roman around when you need one.
