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	<title>Shalampax Speaks &#187; Events</title>
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	<description>Inanity Reigns Supreme: The voice of Shalampax</description>
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		<title>National Gravity Day</title>
		<link>http://www.shalampax.com/blog/2010/11/22/national-gravity-day/</link>
		<comments>http://www.shalampax.com/blog/2010/11/22/national-gravity-day/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 23 Nov 2010 03:05:48 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Birdinhand</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Events]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[gravity]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.shalampax.com/blog/?p=1669</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Tomorrow is National Gravity Day in Shalampax. To celebrate this holiday, everyone is expected to honor gravity by staying in bed and not getting up for the whole day. It would be a good idea to prepare for this celebration by putting a stock of nonperishable, unwrapped food beside your pillow and a bedpan beside [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
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		<title>Ocean Day</title>
		<link>http://www.shalampax.com/blog/2010/08/21/ocean-day/</link>
		<comments>http://www.shalampax.com/blog/2010/08/21/ocean-day/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 21 Aug 2010 12:00:52 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Stickinthemud</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Events]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[garbage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ocean]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sewage]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.shalampax.com/blog/?p=1643</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Today is Ocean Day in Shalampax. Living on a tiny speck of an island in the midst of the vast Pacific Ocean, we are ever-conscious of the enormity, majesty, bountifulness, beauty, power and, yes, often destructiveness of our oceans. That is why we honor, venerate, often immensely fear and, particularly on this day, greatly celebrate [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Aardvark Day</title>
		<link>http://www.shalampax.com/blog/2010/08/11/aardvark-day/</link>
		<comments>http://www.shalampax.com/blog/2010/08/11/aardvark-day/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 11 Aug 2010 12:00:52 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Stickinthemud</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Events]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[aardvarks]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.shalampax.com/blog/?p=1608</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Today is National Aardvark Day in Shalampax. Just to be clear, there are not now, nor have there ever been any aardvarks in Shalampax. I doubt that any aardvarks have ever come within hundreds of miles of this island. And, if they had any choice in the matter, I’m sure the aardvarks would vote to [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Movie Night</title>
		<link>http://www.shalampax.com/blog/2010/08/05/movie-night/</link>
		<comments>http://www.shalampax.com/blog/2010/08/05/movie-night/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 05 Aug 2010 12:00:47 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Stickinthemud</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Events]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[feel good]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[films]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[movies]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.shalampax.com/blog/?p=1586</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Fridays are movie nights in the fourth-floor recreation room. The organizers of these events have been showing “feel good” movies exclusively. They believed that nobody would complain about feel good films. They were wrong. Maybe they are simply objecting to the poor grammar exhibited in the use of “feel good” in this context, but a [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Pain Management Session</title>
		<link>http://www.shalampax.com/blog/2010/08/01/pain-management-session/</link>
		<comments>http://www.shalampax.com/blog/2010/08/01/pain-management-session/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 01 Aug 2010 12:00:19 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Stickinthemud</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Events]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[health]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[medical]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pain management]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.shalampax.com/blog/?p=1574</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The Shalampax Medical Clinic has decided to expand its mandate to include a public education component. Henceforth, the clinic will try to enlighten Shalampaxians on health-related issues. This element being added to the clinic’s mission because the medical staff there have come to believe that the happiest, healthiest and best patients are educated patients. The [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>National Leave Your Kid at Home Day</title>
		<link>http://www.shalampax.com/blog/2010/07/23/national-leave-your-kid-at-home-day/</link>
		<comments>http://www.shalampax.com/blog/2010/07/23/national-leave-your-kid-at-home-day/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 23 Jul 2010 12:00:23 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Birdinhand</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Events]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[childcare]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[children]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[parenting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[parents]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.shalampax.com/blog/?p=1540</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Today is National Leave Your Kid at Home Day in Shalampax. With school out, many parents have been bringing their kids to work, locking them in the supply closet, and then taking them home at night. Parents are doing this to save the cost of sending their kids to camp or hiring someone to police [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>3</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>National Do Nothing and Don&#8217;t Give a Damn Day</title>
		<link>http://www.shalampax.com/blog/2010/07/18/national-do-nothing-and-dont-give-a-damn-day/</link>
		<comments>http://www.shalampax.com/blog/2010/07/18/national-do-nothing-and-dont-give-a-damn-day/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 18 Jul 2010 12:00:52 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Stickinthemud</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Events]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[holiday]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.shalampax.com/blog/?p=1523</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Today is National Do Nothing and Don&#8217;t Give a Damn Day here in Shalampax. On this day every year we commemorate everything that it means to be a Shalampaxian. Our festivities include a 24-hour-long group nap. If I gave a damn, I&#8217;d tell you to celebrate the day and have a great holiday. But I [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.shalampax.com/blog/2010/07/18/national-do-nothing-and-dont-give-a-damn-day/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>6</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>More Being and Nothingness</title>
		<link>http://www.shalampax.com/blog/2010/07/17/more-being-and-nothingness/</link>
		<comments>http://www.shalampax.com/blog/2010/07/17/more-being-and-nothingness/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 17 Jul 2010 12:00:35 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Stickinthemud</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Events]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[lecture]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Philosophy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[spiritual]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[spirituality]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[talk]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.shalampax.com/blog/?p=1519</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[After finally ending a lengthy spiritual retreat in his apartment, in which he used deep meditation to achieve a five-month-long comatose state, Toiletoverflowing is back and ready to resume his wearisome life. Jumping or, more accurately, barely ambling back into his old life, he has decided to resume his wholeheartedly eschewed philosophy lecture series. This [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.shalampax.com/blog/2010/07/17/more-being-and-nothingness/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>8</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>National Materialism Day</title>
		<link>http://www.shalampax.com/blog/2010/07/14/national-materialism-day/</link>
		<comments>http://www.shalampax.com/blog/2010/07/14/national-materialism-day/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 14 Jul 2010 12:00:07 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Stickinthemud</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Events]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[materialism]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.shalampax.com/blog/?p=1509</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Today is National Materialism Day. Celebrate it! Get out there and buy as much exorbitantly expensive stuff as you possibly can. Help keep materialism alive and thriving here in Shalampax! (National Materialism Day is generously brought to you by Garbage Haulers Corp. of Shalampax.)]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.shalampax.com/blog/2010/07/14/national-materialism-day/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>4</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>The Art of Nothingness</title>
		<link>http://www.shalampax.com/blog/2010/07/13/the-art-of-nothingness/</link>
		<comments>http://www.shalampax.com/blog/2010/07/13/the-art-of-nothingness/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 13 Jul 2010 12:00:15 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Stickinthemud</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Events]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[art]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[art show]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[nothingness]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.shalampax.com/blog/?p=1505</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Shows of local artists&#8217; work are rare in Shalampax because few, if any, people here give a fig about art and even fewer can be bothered to create any art pieces. Redherring has proven herself to be an exception. As the saying goes, they broke the mold when they made Redherring. Although, that was only [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>4</slash:comments>
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