I’m sure that all of my peeps reading this are well aware that Tuboflard, the Chief Medical Officer at the Shalampax Medical Clinic, is, to say the least, considerably less than enamored with her role as a mother of triplets. Thus, it will come as no surprise that Scurryingcockroach, a recent visitor to Tuboflards’ apartment, was shocked when she saw only two of the triplets playing in their baby litter box. The third infant was nowhere to be seen.
Scurryingcockroach feared the worst. (Or the best, depending on your point of view. Most Shalampaxians consider children to be a terrible bother.) Being still of child-bearing age, a panic set over Scurryingcockroach when she realized that, if Tuboflard had killed one of her infants, Scurryingcockroach herself might suffer the misfortune of being chosen to fill Shalampax’s population gap.
Without proof, Scurryingcockroach didn’t want to confront Tuboflard with serious allegations of evil behavior. However, Scurryingcockroach was eager to make those accusations, particularly in public, because her life is rather empty and she takes her entertainment wherever she can find it.
Excusing herself to go to the bathroom, Scurryingcockroach began a thorough search of Tuboflard’s apartment. If discovered during her hunt for the missing baby, Scurryingcockroach planned to say that she got lost on the way to the bathroom.
In retrospect, Scurryingcockroach needn’t have prepared an alibi. After getting up in the morning, Tuboflard usually immediately settles into a chair next to the well-stocked refrigerator that she installed in her living room. Tuboflard almost never leaves her perch until late in the evening, when she gets up to change her adult diaper and go to bed.
Consequently, there was little chance that Tuboflard would have gotten up from her chair. All she inferred from Scurryingcockroach’s lengthy absence was that Scurryingcockroach must have been suffering from diarrhea. Being Chief Medical Officer, Tuboflard knew that this was a common ailment in Shalampax due to the condition of the food in Shalampax’s grocery store and restaurants.
Not finding the third baby despite a thorough investigation, and knowing that no one else in Shalampax would consent to take care of any of the little brats, Scurryingcockroach confronted Tuboflard with allegations of wrongdoing. Tuboflard became alarmed because she knew that, if the baby was not found, Tuboflard might be charged with infanticide.
In Shalampax, infanticide is only a misdemeanor, but it is still a crime, so Tuboflard made the incredible effort of shifting her body so she could turn enough to scan the entire living room from her perch.
Tuboflard did not immediately spot her third child, but her motion was enough to solve the mystery. Scurryingcockroach saw that the missing child was not missing at all. Instead, she had been playing happily, but unnoticed underneath one of Tuboflard’s rolls of fat. Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on your point of view), there was enough of an air pocket under there that the baby had no trouble breathing.
With great regret at having reason to do so, Scurryingcockroach apologized to Tuboflard for accusing her of wrongdoing. Scurryingcockroached then shuffled morosely off to her own apartment.