Manexposinghimself, the Prime Minister of Shalampax, granted me an exclusive interview yesterday. Knowing that these are challenging times in the world, for most of our half-hour together he talked extensively and with great passion about the current batch of television reality shows. That part of our discussion does not bear repeating, but in an off-hand moment he did mention something interesting.
Prime Minister Manexposinghimself made a promise that I think he’s going to keep, which would be totally out of character for him. He promised that, in the future, his government will be much more decisive and will make its decisions much more quickly.
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When Parliament returns from its unexpected recess it plans to pass a new data privacy bill. To date, we don’t have any laws here in Shalampax concerning the protection of the privacy of data collected by businesses. And Shalampaxian companies have been, to say the least, quite lax in this regard.
Once this bill is passed, the following will be mandatory:
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To better plan and manage governmental and business affairs, the Government of Shalampax thought it was a good idea to get a more accurate—or at least some—sense of the demographics of Shalampax. To this end, a few weeks ago the government undertook Shalampax’s first comprehensive census.
Censuses had been conducted in the past, but they only counted the number of people here. This census asked 50 questions on Shalampaxian characteristics and practices.
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Two days ago, the Parliament of Shalampax began an unscheduled recess that is expected to last approximately two weeks. This is only an estimate, but the custodian of Parliament feels that it will require at least that long to adequately air out the Chamber of Parliament.
The airing became necessary when the restaurant in Parliament, which is available exclusively to our parliamentarians, made a tactical error two days ago. Without considering the consequences, it featured a lunch special that included an all-you-can eat baked bean and coleslaw buffet.
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We don’t have many laws dictating people’s behaviors here in Shalampax, but the Government of Shalampax decided it was time to pass one to deal with some incidents that have occurred recently. If truth be told, these sorts of incidents have been going on for as long as anyone can remember, but our Parliament rarely acts quickly.
With the passage today of the Public Decency and Compensations Act, it is no longer legal to have sex in a public place in Shalampax unless you pay a fee of $675 in advance or $875 after the fact. Members of Parliament expect that people will pay in advance except for spontaneous sex.
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The Government of Shalampax today announced that, henceforth, it will no longer make public its budgets or financial statements.
The government believes that continuing to release these documents would be pointless as they have always been mythological creations designed purely for entertainment purposes. The government believes that there is far better entertainment available today, so there is little benefit to be derived from publishing the government budgetary and financial documents.
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