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	<title>Shalampax Speaks &#187; Health Advisory</title>
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	<description>Inanity Reigns Supreme: The voice of Shalampax</description>
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		<title>Health Advisory #885</title>
		<link>http://www.shalampax.com/blog/2009/10/30/health-advisory-885/</link>
		<comments>http://www.shalampax.com/blog/2009/10/30/health-advisory-885/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 30 Oct 2009 11:00:39 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Birdinhand</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Health Advisory]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sex]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[unprotected sex]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.shalampax.com/blog/?p=893</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The Shalampax Medical Clinic has asked me to pass along the following public health advisory. Shalampax privacy conventions, scant though they may be, do not allow me to comment or expand on an advisory of this nature, so I will simply present it verbatim. FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE Shalampax Medical Clinic; October 30, 2009 HEALTH ADVISORY [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>4</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Labeling Error</title>
		<link>http://www.shalampax.com/blog/2009/09/27/labeling-error/</link>
		<comments>http://www.shalampax.com/blog/2009/09/27/labeling-error/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 27 Sep 2009 12:30:18 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Birdinhand</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Health Advisory]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[excrement]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[manure]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pate]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[private label]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[shit]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.shalampax.com/blog/?p=769</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The owners, management and staff of the Shalampax Grocery Store have asked me to pass along an important message to their customers. As regular shoppers are no doubt aware, the Shalampax Grocery Store sells a number of private label items. The store imports these goods in bulk and then repackages them in containers bearing the [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Crabs Special</title>
		<link>http://www.shalampax.com/blog/2009/09/07/crabs-special/</link>
		<comments>http://www.shalampax.com/blog/2009/09/07/crabs-special/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 07 Sep 2009 12:30:40 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Snotontable</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Health Advisory]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[crabs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pubic lice]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[restaurant]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sexually transmitted diseases]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[STD]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.shalampax.com/blog/?p=688</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[A little while back, I told you about the opening of Shalampax’s Most Exclusive Restaurant. It seems that, unbeknownst to the diners, crabs were on the menu. In their defense, I should add that Barfontable and Shitonfloor, the proprietors of the restaurant, were also unaware of it. Fortunately, the Shalampax Medical Clinic has an ample [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.shalampax.com/blog/2009/09/07/crabs-special/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>3</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Health Order Issued</title>
		<link>http://www.shalampax.com/blog/2009/08/19/health-order-issued/</link>
		<comments>http://www.shalampax.com/blog/2009/08/19/health-order-issued/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 19 Aug 2009 12:30:38 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Birdinhand</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Health Advisory]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[health order]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[restaurant]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[vermin]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.shalampax.com/blog/?p=622</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[After ignoring the situation for many years, Tuboflard, the Chief Medical Officer at the Shalampax Medical Clinic, has finally used her regulatory powers to order Rottentomato, owner of Shalampax’s Most Expensive Restaurant, to either eliminate all vermin from his premises and keep them vermin-free or shut his restaurant down. That will teach Rottentomato to refuse [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>4</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Health Advisory #884</title>
		<link>http://www.shalampax.com/blog/2009/06/17/health-advisory-884/</link>
		<comments>http://www.shalampax.com/blog/2009/06/17/health-advisory-884/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 17 Jun 2009 12:30:11 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Birdinhand</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Health Advisory]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[vigor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[virus]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.shalampax.com/blog/?p=353</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The Shalampax Medical Clinic has issued a warning about a new, especially harmful virus that is making the rounds in Shalampax. The clinic has named it the vigor virus. Victims of the vigor virus suffer only one serious symptom. They are afflicted with frequent bouts of extreme vigor, leading them to want to engage in [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.shalampax.com/blog/2009/06/17/health-advisory-884/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>4</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Health Advisory #883: Update</title>
		<link>http://www.shalampax.com/blog/2009/05/23/health-advisory-883-update/</link>
		<comments>http://www.shalampax.com/blog/2009/05/23/health-advisory-883-update/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 23 May 2009 12:30:12 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Birdinhand</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Health Advisory]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[coma]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[comma]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Dorothy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[health]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Wizard of Oz]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.shalampax.com/blog/?p=218</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[A few days ago I told you about a health advisory from the Shalampax Medical Clinic advising people who ate the &#8220;fish&#8221; at Shalampax&#8217;s Most Expensive Restaurant to visit the clinic as soon as possible. I&#8217;m pleased to report that the condition that Tuboflard mistook for death was actually a coma. If you saw the [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.shalampax.com/blog/2009/05/23/health-advisory-883-update/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Chief Medical Officer</title>
		<link>http://www.shalampax.com/blog/2009/05/22/chief-medical-officer/</link>
		<comments>http://www.shalampax.com/blog/2009/05/22/chief-medical-officer/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 22 May 2009 12:30:29 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Birdinhand</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Health Advisory]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[chief medical officer]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fat]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fitness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[health]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[obesity]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.shalampax.com/blog/?p=215</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[In an earlier post I inadvertently revealed that the Chief Medical Officer (CMO) at the Shalampax Medical Clinic is a tad obese. That&#8217;s a tad obese as in, able to block out the sun&#8217;s light when standing 30 paces from the viewer. She is so fat that she has to grease her sides to squeeze [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.shalampax.com/blog/2009/05/22/chief-medical-officer/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Health Advisory #883</title>
		<link>http://www.shalampax.com/blog/2009/05/19/health-advisory-883/</link>
		<comments>http://www.shalampax.com/blog/2009/05/19/health-advisory-883/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 19 May 2009 12:30:57 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Birdinhand</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Health Advisory]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[health]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[restaurant]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.shalampax.com/blog/?p=204</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The Shalampax Medical Clinic asked me to pass along the following health advisory: Anyone who visited Shalampax&#8217;s Most Expensive Restaurant (its name and an accurate description) last night and inferred from the menu listing &#8220;Catch of the Day&#8221; that they were eating fish, and fresh fish at that, should visit the medical clinic as soon [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
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